Sales Joke of the Day (September 17) Negotiations.

A salesman and his had just settled down to sleep an hour before.  It was a tough day at work for the salesman.

Wife:     Oh, come on.

Salesman:     Leave me alone!

Wife:     It won't take long.

Salesman:     I won't be able to sleep afterward.

Wife:     I can't sleep without it.

Salesman:     Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?

Wife:     Because I'm hot!

Salesman:     You get hot at the darnedest times.

Wife:     If you loved me, I wouldn't have to beg you.

Salesman:     If you loved me, you would be more considerate.

Wife:     You don't love me anymore.

Salesman:    Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.

Wife:     (Sob-Sob)

Salesman:     All right.  I'll do it.

Wife:     What's the matter?  Need a flashlight?

Salesman:     I can't find it.

Wife:     For goodness sake!   Feel for it!

Salesman:     There!   Are you satisfied?

Wife:     Oh, yes, honey.

Salesman:     Is it down far enough?

Wife:     Oh, that's fine.

Salesman:     Now go to sleep.  The next time it's your turn to get up and turn the thermostat down.

Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to be successful in sales you need to do well with negotiations.  In any negotiation two parties start out with different needs and different expectations.   But with persistent concessions and enough compromises from all parties involved, forward progress continues and the relationship stays intact.   Remember, making assumptions too early into "Negotiations" can only lead to wrong conclusions and lengthen the process.

"Let us move from the era of confrontation to the era of negotiation."      -     Richard Nixon

"No."      -    Pat Nixon

Sales Joke of the Day (September 13) Never Assume Anything.

A very elderly retired salesman and his wife are having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.  The old salesman leans forward and says softly to his wife, "Dear, there is something that I must ask you.  It has always bothered me that our tenth child has always been so sickly looking.   He never quite looked like the rest of our healthier children.  Now, I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all away.  But I must know, did he have a different father?"


The salesman's wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye.  She pauses for a moment and confesses.  "Yes.  Yes he did."


The old salesman is very shaken.   The reality of what his wife is admitting hits him harder than he had expected.  With a tear in his eye he asks,  "Who?   Who was he?  Who was the father of our tenth child?"


Again the salesman's wife drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tries to muster the courage to tell the truth to the salesman.  Then, finally, she says, "You."


Moral of the story.    True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales they can never afford to assume anything.   True sales professionals never assume that their customers are happy, they never assume that their customers are buying as much as they can from them, and they never assume that their customers are not buying from their competitors.   True sales professionals are always asking questions.  Perpetually curious, they understand that only by asking precise questions, often enough, will they be reassured.
 

"Assumptions are the termites of relationships."       -     Henry Winkler