Sales Joke of the Day (May 21) The Confession.

Two salesmen are well off the beaten path.  It's been a rough day and they are looking for a good time in a small town they'll probably never be back to again.   The senior rep tells his counterpart to pull up in front of the local Catholic church, telling him that he'll be back in just a few minutes.  


The senior rep walks in to the church and right up to the confessional booth.  He opens a curtain, enters, closes the curtain behind him and takes a seat.  A small door slides open to his right.   He sees no one, but a calm deep voice asks, "How can I help you my son?"


"Father, forgive me, for I have committed adultery with a woman from your parish," states the senior sales rep.


"Was it Mary Agnardi?" asks the priest.


"No," replied the sales rep.


"Was it Elise Guini?" asks the priest.


"No," replied the sales rep.


"Was it Chelise Boyardi?" asks the priest.


"No," replied the sales rep.


"Ok my son.  You will do fifty Hail Mary's and make quite the donation in the offering plate for the next three weeks."


"Yes Father, thank you Father," said the sales rep as he left the confessional booth and made his way quickly back to the car.


"How did it go?" asked his junior sales accomplice.


"Not bad at all," said the senior sales rep.  "I got three good leads!"


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that to be successful in sales you need to be prospecting for new business at all times.  And as far as leads are concerned, nothing beats the accuracy and value of a personal referral.  So wherever you are, or whatever you are doing, never be shy to ask for them.


"People do not seem to realized that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character."    -  Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Sales Joke of the Day (September 5) Referrals.

After having been unfaithful for years, the salesman told his business partner that he was going to come clean with his wife and beg for her forgiveness.  The only thing his business partner cautioned was that he not reveal the names of his paramours, since it wasn't fair to get them in trouble.

Confessing his infidelity that night, the salesman was surprised when his wife's curiosity outweighed her anger.

"Tell me," she demanded, who did you sleep with?  Was it that widow Mrs. Smith?"

"I can't tell you," the salesman replied.

"I know!  It was that loose tramp Linda from two blocks down the street.  She's slept with everyone in town!"

"Discretion forbids," the salesman answered.

"The young receptionist from your office, I saw how she kept looking at you" his wife said confidently.  "You went to bed with that crazy loon!  Now everyone at your office will know and I'll be the laughing stock of the Christmas party!"

Once again the salesman said nothing and his wife finally gave up.  The next day his business partner asked the salesman how things went.

"Terrific!" the salesman replied.   "Not only did my wife forgive me, but she gave me three new leads!"

Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales they need referrals.   They also know that once someone starts giving you referrals, just take notes and don't interrupt them until they run out of names.  You just never know how many leads you'll get.

"The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion."        -    Henry Steeele Commager