Two salesmen were sitting in a bar discussing their respective
mothers-in-law. One said: "They say if you look at your mother-in-law,
you can see your wife in thirty years."
"That's bull!" said the second salesman. "I looked at my
mother-in-law this morning, at breakfast, and I saw my wife just fifteen
minutes later!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that the past or
the present, can in no way be used to predict the future, exactly.
However, being able to identify a trend before others and plan for
contingencies, does provide one with a little bit more adaptability to
change. Or a little bit more time to duck, run, and take cover.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor
said, "Are you going to help?" I said, "No, six should be enough." - Les Dawson
The salesman was suffering from insomnia, and the lack of sleep was
starting to affect his work. So much so that he decided to go to his
doctor.
After a thorough checkup the salesman's doctor declared, "The only
cure for your insomnia is to not take your tension to bed with you when
you go to bed at night."
The salesman gave the doctor a knowing nod, "I know doc, that's
exactly what I've been telling my wife. But she's not willing to use
the guest room!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
succeed at sales they need to remain calm and relaxed so they appear
confident when interacting with prospects and customers. Stressing
out over the unknown, anticipating worse case scenarios, and dwelling
on matters you absolutely have no control over does you absolutely no
good whatsoever. In fact, the constant tension of such anxiety, can
manifest in other health ailments in addition to insomnia. High blood
pressure, heart attacks, strokes, asthma, eczema, hair loss, and
uncontrollable weight gain are all just waiting to pounce on folks who
stress themselves out all the time. So chill, relax, phone a friend,
take a vacation, do whatever you need to do to calm yourself down.
Re-CONNECT with who you are, what your values are, what positive
accomplishments you have made over the last few years; and you'll be
able to head into the future with confidence! Do that, and your
chances for success increase dramatically!
"A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our
worlds; it seems to magically CONNECT us to all sorts of serendipitous
opportunities that were somehow absent before the change." -
Earl Nightingale
Having gone to his executive assistant's apartment, the VP of
Sales was astonished to wake up and find that it was 3;00AM. "Darn!"
he exploded. "My wife will kill me!"
As he ran to his car, while throwing on his clothes and stepping into
his leather loafers, he was struck with sudden inspiration. So he
called his wife from his cell phone.
When he wife answered, he panted into the phone, "Darling, don't pay the ransom! I've escaped!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
succeed at sales they have to have the ability to think on their feet.
Having the ability to think on your feet at 3am, means that you have
what it takes to make it at the upper levels of sales management.
"You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today."
- Abraham Lincoln
Two salesmen are line at the company cafeteria to buy their
lunch. When they both pull out their wallets to pay, the first asks
the second. "Why do you have a picture of your wife in your wallet?"
"Well," says the second salesman, "during the day if I start to slack
off, or if I have a really bad call and I'm feeling a little down, I
take out my wife's picture for inspiration. She reminds me why I do
what I do, and I get right back to work. I see you have a picture of
your wife in your wallet too. Same reason?"
"No," says the first salesman. "I've got a picture of my wife in
there as just a reminder that in its place could have been a lot more
money."
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
be successful in sales you need to share the wealth with those you do
business with. So butter up your clients by spreading the bread,
sharing the dough or giving them their slice. Don't be a crusty old
miser. Remember, you need to open up your wallet, before you can put
more in.
"He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed." - Benjamin Franklin
