Sales Joke of the Day (May 22) The Sandbag.

The salesman, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to burgle the safe in a nearby men's clothing store.  On the safe door, the owner had left a note.  It read, "Please don't use dynamite.  The safe is not locked.  Just turn the knob."


The salesman and part-time burglar did just that.  Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.  As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning, "My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken.


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that sandbagging is an art form as well as an exacting science.  Being able to make deals appear out of thin air at the end of a quarter or after quotas have been officially assigned, has been a much celebrated tradition passed down from generation to generation by those skilled in the art of the deal.   If you are in sales and you do not know what sandbagging is; you'd better start practicing the only closing line you'll need in your future....   "Would you like fries with that?"


"All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree."    -  Albert Einstein

Sales Joke of the Day (May 7) The Art Gallery.

A salesman was standing in an art gallery, studying two near-identical pictures by the same artist.  Both showed a glass of wine, a basket of bread rolls, a bowl of salad and a plate of smoked salmon.  Yet one painting was priced at $150, the other at $175.  So he asked the gallery owner to explain why one was more expensive than the other.


'It's simple," said the gallery owner, indicating the more expensive painting.  "You get two extra slices of smoked salmon in that one."


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know value when they see it, and they can also spot when someone else is trying to blow "smoked salmon" in their direction.  Always make sure in an upsell situation that you can clearly outline what extra benefits your prospect is getting for their extra "investment" in your product or service.   Rarely will a prospect move forward with a purchase if they smell something fishy.

"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, 

but their inward significance."     

-  Aristotle