Sales Joke of the Day (May 7) The Art Gallery.

A salesman was standing in an art gallery, studying two near-identical pictures by the same artist.  Both showed a glass of wine, a basket of bread rolls, a bowl of salad and a plate of smoked salmon.  Yet one painting was priced at $150, the other at $175.  So he asked the gallery owner to explain why one was more expensive than the other.


'It's simple," said the gallery owner, indicating the more expensive painting.  "You get two extra slices of smoked salmon in that one."


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know value when they see it, and they can also spot when someone else is trying to blow "smoked salmon" in their direction.  Always make sure in an upsell situation that you can clearly outline what extra benefits your prospect is getting for their extra "investment" in your product or service.   Rarely will a prospect move forward with a purchase if they smell something fishy.

"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, 

but their inward significance."     

-  Aristotle

Sales Joke of the Day (September 23) Fishy Business.

A regular customer at the grocery store, marveled at the sales clerk's quick wit and intelligence.  "Tell me, young man,"  he asked, "What makes you so smart?"

"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," answered the sales clerk, lowering his voice so the other shoppers wouldn't hear, "but seeing as how you have been a loyal customer all these years, I'll tell you.  It's fish heads.  If you eat enough of them you'll be positively brilliant!"

"Do you sell them here?" asked the customer eagerly.

"Sure," said the sales clerk, "I can bring some to you form our cold storage area in the back.  They will be four dollars each."

"Great!"  said the customer.   "I'll take three."


A week later, the customer returned to the store to complain that the fish heads were disgusting and he wasn't feeling any smarter.


"That's because you're not eating enough," said the sales clerk.


So the customer bought another twenty fish heads.


Two weeks later, the customer was back at the shop and this time he was very angry.  "Hey! You!" he barked at the sales clerk.   "You've been selling me fish heads for $4  a piece when I can buy a whole fish for $3!   You've been ripping me off!"


"See?"  replied the sales clerk.  "The fish heads must be working.   You're smarter already!"


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales you must try to generate repeat business.   This is possible only if you treat customers fairly.   If you rip them off, they will start to smell something "fishy" and eventually they will find out  the truth.   Word of mouth will "school" the local marketplace to avoid your place of business altogether.   Or worse, the local "scales" of justice will see that you're "fin"ished for good.  So leave playing the angles to professional anglers, and always treat your customers with the utmost respect.


There's a "fine line" between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." 
                                                                                                                       - Steven Wright