Sales Joke of the Day (April 22) The Family Business?

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation.”


The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”


“I see.” replied the father-in-law, “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”


“I hate office work,” said the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk.” 


"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. “I just made you half owner of a money-making industry, but you don’t like factories, and won’t work in an office. What am I going to do with you?”


“Easy,” said the son-in-law. “Buy me out.”


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales, or anything else at life, you are going to have to work for it.  Unless of course, you're able to marry into money.  By the way, if you were able to talk your way into a marriage for money, you've just sold yourself!   When it comes to sales, you're a natural!


"I grew up in a family business.... that really has provided me the core of my belief in American small business, and in America's ability to grow and operate important businesses that can compete and be successful."    -  Karen Mills

 

Sales Joke of the Day (September 23) Fishy Business.

A regular customer at the grocery store, marveled at the sales clerk's quick wit and intelligence.  "Tell me, young man,"  he asked, "What makes you so smart?"

"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," answered the sales clerk, lowering his voice so the other shoppers wouldn't hear, "but seeing as how you have been a loyal customer all these years, I'll tell you.  It's fish heads.  If you eat enough of them you'll be positively brilliant!"

"Do you sell them here?" asked the customer eagerly.

"Sure," said the sales clerk, "I can bring some to you form our cold storage area in the back.  They will be four dollars each."

"Great!"  said the customer.   "I'll take three."


A week later, the customer returned to the store to complain that the fish heads were disgusting and he wasn't feeling any smarter.


"That's because you're not eating enough," said the sales clerk.


So the customer bought another twenty fish heads.


Two weeks later, the customer was back at the shop and this time he was very angry.  "Hey! You!" he barked at the sales clerk.   "You've been selling me fish heads for $4  a piece when I can buy a whole fish for $3!   You've been ripping me off!"


"See?"  replied the sales clerk.  "The fish heads must be working.   You're smarter already!"


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales you must try to generate repeat business.   This is possible only if you treat customers fairly.   If you rip them off, they will start to smell something "fishy" and eventually they will find out  the truth.   Word of mouth will "school" the local marketplace to avoid your place of business altogether.   Or worse, the local "scales" of justice will see that you're "fin"ished for good.  So leave playing the angles to professional anglers, and always treat your customers with the utmost respect.


There's a "fine line" between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." 
                                                                                                                       - Steven Wright