Sales Joke of the Day (May 21) The "Purr"fect Bait and Switch.

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.


He notices that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.


The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.


The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat."


And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.


The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."


And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

Moral of the Story:    Understanding the "hot buttons" that motivate your prospects to take action is much more valuable to your sales career than memorizing spec sheets or product facts.   The next time you're at an industry trade show...  tour the floor and take special note of the booths that are stopping prospects in their tracks.  Generally these booths are needs focused and have a visual display that sets them apart from the rest.   Then shamelessly copy ideas, themes and concepts that will better position your business or your product in your customers' eyes.  If you can get your prospects to stop dead in their tracks it will be a lot easier for you to get them to open their wallets!


"The difference between a bad artist and a good one is:  the bad artist seems to copy a great deal; the good one really does."    -  William Blake 

Sales Joke of the Day (March 29) The Big One That Got Away.

A hot shot salesman, considered a tough negotiator, was out fishing one day when he caught a strange looking fish.  He reeled the fish in, unhooked it, and threw it on the ground next to him.  The fish started writhing in agony and, to the salesman's surprise, said, "Please throw me back into the lake and I'll grant you three wishes."


"Any three wishes, huh?" the salesman mused as visions of expensive fast cars, beach front property and gorgeous women paraded through his head.  "Fish," he finally exclaimed, "give me five wishes and I'll throw you back."


"Sorry," the fish answered while struggling for breath, "only three wishes."


The salesman's pride was now at stake and after giving the matter some thought he announced.  "What do you take me for?  A sucker?  I'll settle for four wishes."


"Only three," the fish murmured weakly.


Fuming, the salesman debated the pros and cons of accepting the three wishes or continuing to bargain for that extra wish.  Finally, the hot shot decided it wasn't worth looking a gift fish in the mouth and said, "All right fish, you win, three wishes."


Unfortunately, the fish was dead.


Moral of the story.   Not everyone appreciates "deadpan" humor.  True sales professionals appreciate the art of the deal.  True sales professionals also appreciate the fact that if you push a "hooked" prospect too far during the negotiation phase, that they could jump off your "line" and become a "sinker."  Or worse still, they could get "lured" away by the competition.  Sometimes it's best to just "scale" down your personal expectations a bit to make sure you get your "catch" across the "fin"ish "line" while helping out your "net" income in the process.  After all, if you let too many big ones get away, you're the one getting "canned."


How did you find that "reel" world advice?    A bit too "fishy."    Are you "tuna"d in or "tuna"d out at this point?


Seeing no way to "worm" myself out of this corner; I guess I'll just have to cut "bait."


Not before wishing you all nothing but happy "scales"  at the end of the quarter.  Hope you were able to reel in the big one.


"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."   
                                                       -   Steven Wright

Sales Joke of the Day (December 30) The Truck Stop.

A middle-aged salesman was sitting in a truck stop when four rough bikers strode in.  The first walked over to the salesman and stubbed a cigarette into his lunch.  Then, the second biker spat in the salesman's Coke.  The third biker picked up the salesman's plate of food and threw it on the floor.  The fourth biker walked right up to the salesman, put his face three inches in front of the salesman's face and said "Boo!" real loud.


Without flinching, or saying a word, the salesman got up, paid his bill at the counter, along with a generous tip to the waitress, and left.


"He wasn't much of a man, was he?" sneered one of the bikers to the waitress.


"Not much of an SUV driver either," the waitress replied.  "He just backed it over four motorcycles and drove over them a second time on his way out of the parking lot."


Moral of the story.    True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales you can't afford the time to pay any attention to constant critics.   There will always be those customers and prospects who whine and constantly complain in public.   Because of something going wrong in their lives, they feel compelled to try and drag you down to their level of mediocrity.   Whatever you do, don't take the bait!    Instead, be patient and just walk away.   Your opportunity for revenge will eventually present itself.   And when it does, tread heavily!


"The best revenge is massive success."   -  Frank Sinatra


"Living well is the best revenge."    -  George Herbert

Sales Joke of the Day (December 14) Ice Fishing.

It was a bitterly cold winter day.  The salesman decided to go fishing and cut a hole in the ice, but didn't catch a thing.  Then a young boy came along, cut a hole in the ice nearby and proceeded to catch fish after fish.   Eventually the salesman went over to the boy and said:  "I've been here six hours and haven't caught one fish.  You've been here only half an hour and you've at least ten.  What's your secret?"


The boy replied:  "Roo raf roo reep rur rurms rarm."


"Excuse me," replied the salesman, "I didn't catch what you just said."


"Roo raf roo reep rur rurms rarm," stated the boy for the second time.


"I'm sorry," said the salesman.  "But I still can't understand a word you're saying."


The boy spat out a wad of ugly brown slime into his hand and said:  "You have to keep your worms warm!"


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales you need to keep your baiting material fresh.   If your material gets old or cold, your prospects will start to freeze you out and your commission catch will quickly be reduced to zero.  Always make sure that any bait coming out of your mouth, is only the best you have to offer.


"The finer the bait, the shorter the wait!"     -   Frank Gorshin