Sales Joke of the Day (April 27) The Efficiency Presentation.

The salesman concluded his presentation on efficiency with a note of caution.  "You don't want to try any of these techniques at home."


"Why not?" asked someone from the back of the room.


"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the salesman explained.  "She made tons of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table, and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time.  Hon, I suggested, why don't you try carrying several things at once?"


The voice from the back of the room asked, "Did it save time?"


The salesman replied, "Actually yes.  It used to take her twenty minutes to get breakfast ready.  Now I do it in just seven."


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals understand the power of a personal story.  If timely and on topic a personal story can establish instant rapport with your prospects.  People like buying with people.  Showing your prospects that you're  human too, and not just some lean mean commission machine, will go a long way toward breaking down barriers to real communication that may be keeping you from making that next step towards your next sale.


"Feedback is the breakfast of champions."    -  Ken Blanchard

Sales Joke of the Day (March 25) The Critic.

The salesman's wife was preparing a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband when he suddenly burst into the kitchen.


"Careful!" the salesman yelled.  "Careful!  Put in some more butter!  Oh my gosh!  You're cooking too many at once!  Too many!   Turn them!  Turn them now!   We need more butter!  Oh, my, gosh!  They're going to stick!   Slow things down a little!   Careful, careful.  I said be careful!   You never listen to me when you're cooking!  Never!   Right, turn them! Hurry up!  Turn them now!   Are you crazy??   You fool!   Have you lost your mind??   Don't forget to salt them.  You always forget to salt them.  Use the salt.  Use the salt!    USE THE SALT !!!!


The salesman's wife stared at him in disbelief.  "What the heck is wrong with you?  Do you not think I know how to fry a couple of eggs?"


The salesman replied calmly:  "I just wanted to show you what it feels like to be criticized when I'm driving."


Moral of the story.    True sales professionals know that in order to succeed, they can't take the time to nitpick or criticize their co-workers in a negative way.   No one likes to be verbally "a-salted."  Negative criticism, blame, accusations, always multiply and grow exponentially.   If everyone at your workplace gets involved, the negativity spreads and your work environment can turn toxic.   No one grows in a toxic environment.  And if you're not careful some of your co-workers, like eggs, will get cracked, turned over or fried.   So do yourself a favor and try to assume a positive mental attitude, keep your sunny side up, and laugh whenever you can, before your brains become scrambled.


"Remember, if you are criticizing, you are not being grateful.  If you are blaming, you are not being grateful.  If you are complaining, you are not being grateful."    -  Rhonda Byrne

Sales Joke of the Day (October 2) Firming Things Up.

One morning while she's making breakfast, a salesman walks up to his wife and pinches her on the buttocks, saying, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose."  Even though she found this statement on the edge of intolerable, the salesman's wife keeps silent.

The next morning, the salesman wakes his wife with a pinch on her chest and says, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of your bra."

This time his wife has had enough.  She rolls over, grabs his privates with a vice-like death grip and says, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the pool man and your brother."

Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to be successful in sales they have to be in constant contact with their customers.   But it has to be an appropriate type of contact and at appropriate intervals.   If you fail to consider the process from your prospect's point of view and become too critical or too persistent, your actions will end up opening the door for your competition.   Yes, all deals need to be continually firmed up before they are closed.  But do so, appropriately.

"The essential elements of giving are power and love - activity and affection - and the consciousness of the race testifies that in the high and appropriate exercise of these is a blessedness greater than any other."     -    Mark Hopkins