In order to get away from their high-stress jobs, a professional insurance sales power couple, started to just relax on
weekends in their motor home at their favorite campsite. When they found their peace and quiet
disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers,
they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.
Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV:
"Insurance agents. Ask about our term-life package."
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales it's important to relax and unwind on weekends. No one can operate efficiently 24 X 7. So buy yourself some burnout insurance the only way you can! Just get away this weekend. Chill out and relax!!!
"It's a funny thing - when I'm crazed with work, spending time with my children relaxes me. Yet at the end of a long weekend with them, the very thing I need to relax is a little work and time away from them!" - Emily Giffin
A salesman sought medical aid because he had sore, popping eyes,
couldn't see well and had a ringing in his ears. A doctor looked the
salesman over and suggested removal of his tonsils. The operation
resulted in no improvement, so the salesman consulted another doctor,
who suggested the removal of his teeth. His teeth were extracted, but
the salesman's eyes still popped and the ringing in his ears continued.
A third doctor told him bluntly, "You've got six months to live."
So the doomed salesman thought he would treat himself right while he
still could. The salesman bought himself a flashy car and hired himself
a chauffeur. He then went to the best tailor in town to make him a few
custom suits. The salesman even decided to order a dozen shirts that
would be made-to-order.
"Okay," said the shirt maker, "let's get your measurements. Hmm, 35 sleeve, 16 collar - "
"Fifteen," the salesman said.
"Sixteen collar," the shirt maker repeated, measuring again.
"But I've always worn a 15 collar," said the salesman.
"Listen," said the shirt maker, "I'm warning you. You keep wearing a
15 collar, and your eyes will pop and you'll have a ringing in your
ears."
Moral of the story. While you may not always be feeling your best,
sales professionals know you must always try to be looking your best.
Custom suits and custom shirts are well worth the investment. They'll
add to your confidence and your professional image. Besides, when you
buy custom, you'll be buying American, so you'll be helping out with our
economic recovery at the same time.
"A man in a well tailored suit will always shine brighter than a guy in an off-the-rack suit."
- Michael Kors
A salesman walks into a doctor's office and asks the doctor to inspect his leg. The salesman says, "Here, put your ear to my knee."
The doctor puts his ear to the salesman's knee and hears very faintly, "Come on, can I have five bucks, just five bucks?"
The doctor steps back in horror, and the salesman says, "I know, but
it gets worse. Put your ear to my shin." The doctor puts his ear to the
salesman's shin and hears very faintly, "Come on, can I have ten bucks, just
ten bucks?"
Once again, the doctor stands up, very perplexed. The salesman then
says, "If that surprises you, put your ear to my ankle." The doctor puts
his ear to the salesman's ankle and hears oh so faintly, "Come on, can I
have twenty bucks, just twenty bucks?"
The doctor then stands up and says, "Well, I can I make just one conclusion. Your leg is broke in three places."
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales, they need to be able to quickly identify if things are broke quickly. If a prospect is broke, don't waste your time trying to selling them anything, because they can't afford to pay. If things at your company are broken, you need to establish if they can be fixed or not. If they can be fixed, is it worthwhile hanging around? If they can't be fixed, perhaps it's time to move on. And if you're broke, it's time to cut expenses and get a better paying job.
"Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light - you'll go broke." - Chuck Jones
A salesman traveling in south-east Asia was horrified to be served bird's nest soup.
"Do you mean to say that this is actually a bird's nest?" he protested.
The chef assured the salesman that it was, explaining that the bird built the nest with its own saliva as glue.
"Are you saying I'm supposed to eat saliva from a bird?" he demanded. "I can't imagine anyone eating bird's saliva."
Realizing that there was no hope of converting him, or encouraging
him to try something different, the chef asked what he would prefer
instead.
The salesman responded, "Oh, just fix me an omelet."
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
succeed in business, sometimes you have to adapt to different cultures
in order to build rapport. Refusing to even try foods from other lands
could cause you to be perceived as arrogant, disrespectful or rude. As
far as the business is concerned, you could lose a lot of it, and your
career could end up in hot water! So please, just eat the soup
.
"When I was having that alphabet soup, I never thought it would pay off." - Vanna White
The salesman's family was given some venison from a friend of the
family who was a skilled hunter. That night the salesman's wife cooked
up some deer steaks and served them for dinner.
"What is this?" asked the salesman's young daughter. "Is it beef?"
"No, it's not beef," replied the salesman.
"Is it pork?" asked the salesman's son.
"No, it's not pork," replied the salesman. "I'll give you a clue. It's what your mother sometimes calls me."
"Spit it out sis! Quick! Spit it out!" yelled the salesman's son.
"I didn't think they'd get this big, but we must be eating bass turds!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
be successful at sales, you need to be likeable. People like to do
business with people they like. Chances are if your prospects or
customers are calling you by other names behind your back, they are not
going to be doing business with you much longer. How do you know if
they are calling you names? Well in the majority of cases you'll never
know. The only thing you can do, is to do your best not to give them
any reasons to call you names to begin with. Never over promise and
under deliver. Never gouge a customer on price. Never sell something
to someone unless they absolutely need it. Last, if a customer or
prospect, asks you for something that you don't have, or can't deliver,
simply tell them you can't and provide them with a referral to someone
else who can help them out with their issues right now. That's being
of service. That's what real customer service, rather than mere lip
service, is all about.
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
- Mahatma Gandhi
A super successful saleswoman was driving home in a flashy sports
car when she got caught in a terrible hailstorm. Her expensive sports
car became covered in tiny dents, so she stopped at a garage for help.
The mechanic, was so jealous of her car and her success, that he decided
to have some fun at her expense. He told her that when she got home,
all she had to do was blow into the exhaust pipe as hard as she could
and all the dents would pop out again.
Back home, the super successful saleswoman, followed the mechanic's
instructions, huffing and puffing with all her might, but to no
effect. Alerted by the strange noises coming from the garage, her
yuppie boyfriend, a tax collector by trade, came out to the garage to
see what all the fuss was about. The super successful saleswoman,
repeated what the mechanic had told her to do.
Her boyfriend, the tax collector, rolled his eyes to heaven. He
could not believe her stupidity. "Duh!" he exclaimed. "You have to
wind up the windows first!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
be successful at sales and at life in general, you have to have a good,
diversified network. No one can be an expert in all areas. But if your
network's bench is deep enough, you should have at least one person in
your network who is an expert in any given field. That way, when you
run into something like car troubles, you personally know an expert in
the field, that you can trust to take care of that problem for you. A
great network means you'll never get taken advantage of again.
"Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that's no reason not to give it."
- Agatha Christie
During a flood in a small town in Louisiana, a young girl was perched on top of a house with a little boy.
As they were watching articles float along with the water, they noticed a baseball cap float by.
Suddenly, the cap turned around and went downstream. After it had gone some distance, it turned around again and came back.
"Do you see that baseball cap?" asked the girl. "First it goes downstream, then turns around and comes back!"
"Oh, that!" said the little boy. "That's my Dad. He's a salesman
during the week but on weekends he's just a handyman around the house
working on my Mom's "honey do" lists. Last night he promised mom that
today he would cut the grass come h3ll or high water!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
succeed in life, you need to follow through on your commitments.
Whether it is your sales quota at work or a promise to do something with
your kids, make sure you follow through. In business and in life your
word is your bond so if you want to maintain your kids' "interest" you
need to maintain your "principles."
"Commitment is a big part of what I am and what I
believe. How committed are you to winning? How committed are you to
being a good friend? To being trustworthy? To being successful? How
committed are you to being a good father, a good teammate, a good role
model? There's that moment every morning when you look in the mirror:
Are you committed, or are you not?" - Lebron James
One morning while she's making breakfast, a salesman walks up to his
wife and pinches her on the buttocks, saying, "If you firmed this up, we
could get rid of your control top pantyhose." Even though she found
this statement on the edge of intolerable, the salesman's wife keeps
silent.
The next morning, the salesman wakes his wife with a pinch on her
chest and says, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of
your bra."
This time his wife has had enough. She rolls over, grabs his
privates with a vice-like death grip and says, "You know, if you firmed
this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the pool man and
your brother."
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
be successful in sales they have to be in constant contact with their
customers. But it has to be an appropriate type of contact and at
appropriate intervals. If you fail to consider the process from your
prospect's point of view and become too critical or too persistent, your
actions will end up opening the door for your competition. Yes, all
deals need to be continually firmed up before they are closed. But do
so, appropriately.
"The essential elements of giving are power and love - activity and
affection - and the consciousness of the race testifies that in the high
and appropriate exercise of these is a blessedness greater than any
other." - Mark Hopkins
After being married for forty years, the salesman takes a careful
look at his wife and says, "Forty years ago, we had a cheap house, a
junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a ten-inch black and white
TV. But I got to sleep every night with a hot 23 year old girl. Now I
have a $500,000 home, a $35,000 car, a nice big bed and a large
flat-screen TV. But now I'm sleeping with a 63 year old woman. It
seems to me that you're not holding up your end of the agreement."
The salesman's wife, being very reasonable, and very accustomed to
the salesman's sense of humor replied, "Go ahead and find yourself
another hot 23 year old girl, and I and my lawyer will make sure that
you will once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car,
sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a ten-inch black-and-white TV!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
succeed at sales they need to develop and cultivate long term
relationships. Over the years, these relationships will continue to
grow and prosper if based on trust and mutual benefit. But remember,
turning back the hands of time, or rewriting original contracts are not
possible. So make sure any new agreements you enter into will serve you
well over the long haul.
"Don't make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to
express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you
can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one
agreement, you can completely transform your life."
- Miguel
Angel Ruiz
