Three salesmen died and went to heaven. Upon their arrival, St.
Peter asked the first salesman if he had been faithful to his wife. The
salesman admitted to two affairs during his marriage. St. Peter told
him he would receive only a compact car to drive in heaven.
Then St. Peter asked the second salesman if he had been faithful to
his wife and the salesman admitted to one affair. St. Peter told him he
would be given a midsized car to drive.
The third salesman was asked about his faithfulness, and he told St.
Peter he had been true to his wife until the day he died. St. Peter
praised him and gave him a luxury car.
A week later, the three salesmen were driving around heaven, and they
all stopped at a red light. The salesmen in the compact and midsized
cars turned to see that the salesman in luxury car was crying. They
asked him what could possibly be the matter. After all, he was driving a
luxury car.
"I just passed my wife," exclaimed the salesman, "and she was driving just a skateboard."
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that while others
may judge your success in life by the type of car you drive; just
because you have a luxury automobile, it doesn't mean you're happy.
Knowing the difference between must haves and nice to haves, is the real
secret in setting your priorities in life. Don't ever let shiny new
material things dictate who you are or limit the person you could
become.
"The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury." - Charlie Chaplin
A traveling salesman's car breaks down in the country, so he decides to call on the closest farmhouse.
When the farmer opens the door, the salesman says, "Sir, my car died just up the road. Could I stay here for tonight?"
The farmer says, "Sure, but I have a very handsome son and you'll have to promise not to sleep with him."
"Excuse me," says the salesman, "but I think I'm in the wrong joke."
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales you need to be prepared when it comes to traveling on the road. Keep a "go" bag ready at home in case you ever need to hop a plane without any notice. If you're a road warrior and put tons of mileage on your own vehicle; make sure to keep it in good shape by getting regular maintenance done. Last, make sure you subscribe to a good Auto Club like AAA, or the American Automobile Association, so that if your car does break down, your inconvenience will be kept to a minimum and you won't be forced to spend the night with strangers.
"The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man." - Marshall McLuhan
The used car salesman was always looking for new and different ways to get his name out in front of his buying public.
So when an advertising salesman offered him the opportunity of putting
his face and business card on every shopping cart of the largest
supermarket in town, he couldn't resist.
Fully a year went by before any calls came in from the shopping cart ads. But then one day the phone rang.
"Bob, Bob Smith?" the caller asked.
"That's right," the used car salesman replied, "For deals on wheels
call Bob Smith. You've got him now. How can I help you today?"
"Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my yard,
practically on my front porch, and I want you to come and get it right
away."
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that not all
advertising is good advertising. Make sure, before placing any ads to
boost your personal brand, that you're buying access to the audience you
want. Know your target market and then purchase advertising that
aligns with that target market and has a proven history of producing
results. Next, make sure you have the capacity on hand to handle the
response. The only thing worse than running a bad advertising
campaign, is running a great advertising campaign but not having the
product on hand to satisfy demand. In this scenario, not only have you
let business walk out the door, but you've probably alienated potential
customers even before they've had the chance to buy anything from you.
"The final key to the way I promote is bravado. I play to people's
fantasies. People may not always think big themselves, but they can
still get very excited by those who do. That's why a little hyperbole
never hurts." - Donald Trump
When the salesman's son asked for a ride in the car just to get
to the bus stop at the end of their street, the salesman told him: "You
should be ashamed of yourself. When Abe Lincoln was your age, he used
to walk ten miles every day to get to school."
"Really?" replied the salesman's son. "Well, when he was your age, he was President!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
be successful at sales they need to make effective use of references and
have mastery over the art of name dropping. True sales professionals
are also very aware of the dangers of using old or outdated
references. Often times their situation may change or he
circumstances, if viewed from another angle, may no longer make your
reference a positive one. The point is this, if you're going to use a
reference with any prospect, research it first and make sure it's bullet
proof!
"Facts from paper are not the same as facts from people. The
reliability of the people giving you the facts is as important as the
facts themselves." - Harold Geneen
