Sales Joke of the Day (archives) The Speech.

A Vice President of Sales of a major company was scheduled to address an important convention, so he asked his executive assistant to write him a punchy, twenty minute speech.  But when the Vice President of Sales returned from the convention he was furious.


"What's the idea of writing me an hour long speech?" he raged at  his executive assistant.  "Most of the audience walked out before I was even halfway through!"


The executive assistant was mystified.  "I wrote you a twenty minute speech," he said.  "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for!"


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that when you give a speech, never rely on others to do your preparation.  You never want to be caught short....  or long.


"Mind your speech a little lest you should mar your fortunes."    -     William Shakespeare

Sales Joke of the Day (September 7) Bring Your Kid to Work Day.

After spending the day with the salesman at his office, little Carla asked her father over dinner, "Daddy, when you office door was closed, I was looking through the keyhole.  Why did you call your administrative assistant a doll?"

Under his wife's stormy gaze the salesman quickly replied, "Uh, well, Carla, umm, it's just an expression.  It's because I enjoy having her around.  Uh, she works the word processor like a pro, is disarming when she answers the telephone, is never late, and umm, always eats her lunch at her desk."

"Oh," said the salesman's daughter Carla, "I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you laid her down on the couch."

Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales you have to be credible.   Hesitant speech and the use of verbal crutches like uh, umm, and eh, will undermine your credibility, cause people to doubt you and will end up costing you sales.

"All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses."    -    Fredrich Nietzsche