Sales Joke of the Day (June 2) Speaking Engagement? Don't Forget Your Teeth

A salesperson was invited to speak at a dinner meeting of the local chamber of commerce.  Nervous and in such a hurry not to be late when he arrived at sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.


Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth!"


The man said, "No problem."  With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth.  "Try these," he said.  The salesperson tried them.  "Too loose," he said.


The man then said, "I have another pair - try these."


The salesperson tried them and responded, "Too tight."


The man was not taken back at all.  He then said, I have one more pair of false teeth - try them."


The salesperson said, "They fit perfectly."  With that he ate his meal and gave his speech.  He was a smash hit.  The evening couldn't have been scripted more perfectly.


After the dinner meeting was over, the saleperson went over to thank the man who had bailed him out form what could have been an embarrassing if not career shattering evening.


"I want to thank you for coming to my aid this evening.  Where is your office?  I've been looking for a good dentist," said the salesperson.


The man replied, "I'm not a dentist.  I'm the local undertaker."


Moral of the story.   If you're in sales and regulary use false teeth, a hair piece, girdle, athletic supporter or fake eye ball to enhance your professional image;  please remember to keep a spare with you at all times!   You just never know.


"I don't have false teeth.  Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?"   -  Carol Burnett 

Sales Joke of the Day (May 17) The Dinner.

A salesman, on the road, is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.  He had been checking her out since she sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.


Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out its socket, right towards the salesman.  He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of mid-mid air and hands it right back to her.   "Oh, I am so sorry," the gorgeous woman says as she pops her eye back in lace.  "Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you."


They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks.  After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come over to her place and stay for breakfast the next morning.


The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.  The salesman is amazed.   Everything over the last twelve hours had been incredible!   "You know," he said to the gorgeous woman, you are the perfect woman.  Are you this nice to every man you meet?"


"No," she replied, "you just happened to catch my eye."


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that their sales success often depends upon their ability to give eye catching presentations.   Without a little flair, showmanship and perhaps a little humor, how are you going to get your prospect's attention?   Ask yourself, just how are you going to make their eyes pop out?

"The ear tends to be lazy, craves the familiar and is shocked by the unexpected; the eye, on the other hand, tends to be impatient, craves the novel and is bored by repetition."     

-  W. H. Auden

Sales Joke of the Day (December 23) The Dinner.

A salesman is dining in a fancy restaurant, a couple of days before Christmas, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.  He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.


Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the salesman.  He reflectively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back to her.  "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.  "Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you."


They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theatre followed by drinks.  After paying for everything, she asks the salesman if he would like to come back to her place and stay for breakfast the next morning.


The following morning, she cooks him a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.   The salesman is amazed!  Everything had been incredible!


"You know," said the salesman, "you are the perfect woman.  Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"


"No," replied the woman, "you just happened to catch my eye."


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales they need to fully understand the importance of establishing and maintaining good eye contact with prospects and clients.   Good eye contact establishes credibility, indicates confidence and goes a long way to closing the deal with customers.   Failure to make good eye contact often leads to a lack of trust and lost sales.


"People simply don't make eye contact anymore."     -   Eric Kripke