Sales Joke of the Day (April 5) The Duck Hunt.

The salesman was a keen hunter, who needed a new bird dog.  His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.  Amazed by his discovery, he was sure none of his co-workers would ever believe him.


He decided to share his great discovery with his sales manager in order to impress him and perhaps get a raise.  If he could impress his sales manager, an eternal pessimist who steadfastly refused to be impressed by anyone or anything, the salesman knew he would be able to impress anyone.  So his pessimistic boss was invited to go along on a hunting trip to the country with the salesman and his new dog that Saturday.   However, the salesman deliberately refrained from mentioning his dog's special talent, he wanted to see how his boss would react.


The two men and the dog made their way to a good hunting lake and as they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew overhead.  Both men fired, and a duck fell.  The salesman's dog jumped into the water, but instead of sinking, it walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than its paws wet. This continued throughout the day.  Each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.


The pessimistic sales manager watched carefully, observing everything, but did not say a word.   On the drive home, the salesman couldn't take it any longer, so he asked his manager, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" 


"Sure did," replied the pessimistic sales manager.  "He can't swim."


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that you have to stay focused on your customers at all times in order to succeed at sales.   If you come across a big opportunity, don't make a big deal about it.  Just do your job and close it.  Don't waste your time trying to impress your manager, you could walk on water, and they still wouldn't notice.  As far as  sales managers are concerned, as a sales rep, you've got a target.  Hit that target and you survive.  Miss your target and you become one.   As a salesperson, if your hunt goes bad, remember to duck.


"Optimism doesn't wait on facts.  It deals with prospects.  Pessimism is a waste of time."      -   Norman Cousins

Sales Joke of the Day (March 6) The Presentation.

A salesman walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the counter, and announces that the dog can talk and that he has a hundred dollars he's willing to be anyone who says he can't.  The bartender quickly takes the bet.


The salesman looks at his dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?"


The dog answers, "Roof."


The bartender says, "Who are you kidding?  I'm not paying." 


The salesman says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else."  The bartender agrees.


The salesman turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"


The dog answers, "Ruth."


With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door.


As they bounce on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the salesman and asks, "DiMaggio?"


Moral of the story.    Sales professionals know that if you want to make your presentations successful you need to remember two main things.  First, you need to ask the right questions in order to move the presentation in the direction you want it to go.  Second, you need to make sure that you give your audience more than what they expect.  You need to stand out and differentiate yourself from the competition.  If you just show up and throw up a similar canned speech they've heard before, you'll be thrown out on your ear and your career will soon go to the dogs.


"The entertainment is in the presentation."   -  John McTiernan 

Sales Joke of the Day (February 18) Trousers.

The salesman had a dog named Trousers.  Trousers was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. 


But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different. The salesman was walking Trousers along a trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was gesturing annoyingly at Trousers and the salesman. This strange person spoke not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box and that he was pulling on a long rope. 


Seeing the sheer horror on the salesman's, Trousers took it upon himself to rectify the situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this annoying pseudo clown's leg. 


Trousers immediately got a sickened look in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue all over the ground in an effort to remove the man's foul essence from his mouth. 


For Trousers had learned that a mime is a terrible thing to taste.

Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales you have dress the part.  This includes having good taste in trousers.   When selecting trousers, you need to make sure that they are long enough, but not too long.  You need to make sure they fit well, but not too tight.   And you need to make sure they are made of high quality material.   But whatever you do, before going out to see a client, make sure you have your trousers on, or your visit could be very "briefs."

"I want to go out at the top, but the secret is knowing when you're at the top, it's so difficult in this business, your career fluctuates all the time, up and down, like a pair of trousers." 
                                                            - Rod Stewart