Sales Joke of the Day (April 5) The Duck Hunt.

The salesman was a keen hunter, who needed a new bird dog.  His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck.  Amazed by his discovery, he was sure none of his co-workers would ever believe him.


He decided to share his great discovery with his sales manager in order to impress him and perhaps get a raise.  If he could impress his sales manager, an eternal pessimist who steadfastly refused to be impressed by anyone or anything, the salesman knew he would be able to impress anyone.  So his pessimistic boss was invited to go along on a hunting trip to the country with the salesman and his new dog that Saturday.   However, the salesman deliberately refrained from mentioning his dog's special talent, he wanted to see how his boss would react.


The two men and the dog made their way to a good hunting lake and as they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew overhead.  Both men fired, and a duck fell.  The salesman's dog jumped into the water, but instead of sinking, it walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than its paws wet. This continued throughout the day.  Each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.


The pessimistic sales manager watched carefully, observing everything, but did not say a word.   On the drive home, the salesman couldn't take it any longer, so he asked his manager, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" 


"Sure did," replied the pessimistic sales manager.  "He can't swim."


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that you have to stay focused on your customers at all times in order to succeed at sales.   If you come across a big opportunity, don't make a big deal about it.  Just do your job and close it.  Don't waste your time trying to impress your manager, you could walk on water, and they still wouldn't notice.  As far as  sales managers are concerned, as a sales rep, you've got a target.  Hit that target and you survive.  Miss your target and you become one.   As a salesperson, if your hunt goes bad, remember to duck.


"Optimism doesn't wait on facts.  It deals with prospects.  Pessimism is a waste of time."      -   Norman Cousins

Sales Joke of the Day (November 13) The Training Session.

The Human Resources trainer had just finished her lecture on mental health and was giving the sales team an oral test on the information they had learned that day.


Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits down in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"


A junior inside sales rep in the rear of the conference room raised his hand and answered, "a sales manager?"


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals realize that in order to succeed at sales their sales manager needs to be successful.   If your sales manager is wasting time battling you and your sales colleagues during the day, your sales manager is not able to spend his or her time on your behalf, cutting through administrative bureaucracy and forging more productive relationships with marketing. True sales professionals know that if they want to grow the size of their commission checks, they need to grow the most important relationship in their sales career; the relationship they  have with their immediate sales manager.
  

"An employee's motivation is a direct result of the sum of interactions with his or her manger."                                                                                              -    Bob Nelson

"Achieving the highest rate of return on human capital must be every manager's goal."                                                                                                                      -   Brian Tracy