Sales Joke of the Day (November 17) Halftime Chat.

Two salesmen were keeping up their weekly tradition that they kept on Sunday afternoon during football season.  They would meet at their local sports bar to watch one of the one o'clock football games on the jumbo TV while they would enjoy a few beers and some chicken wings.   During the game they would be cheering for the various teams they had bet on that week, and by halftime, most weeks, they would both be two sheets to the wind.  This put them in the perfect state of mind,  drunken regret, to take part in their weekly halftime discussion about life and marriage.


The first salesman started in with, "Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's degree."


"And a woman gains her Masters!" added the second.


"You know sport, I've always admired how you never refer to your wife by her first name.  Instead you always use pet names like Sugar, Honey, Kitten or Sweetie.  I think that is so sweet, sweetie!   Using all those terms of endearment shows just how much you care about her," declared the first salesman.


"To tell you the truth," replied the second.  "I forgot her real name three years ago and have just been covering up ever since!"


As the football game was ready to get started again with the second half kick-off, the first salesman took another swig of beer and this time more quietly said, "My wife's an angel."


At that point the second salesman gestured a toast with his beer bottle to the first and exclaimed, "You're lucky - mine's still alive!"


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales you need to be able to unwind and relax on the weekend.   One great way to unwind is to get together and play an organized team sport like football, with friends and/or business associates.   If such a venue is not an option for you in your immediate area, exercising your right elbow and your freedom of speech at a local pub, while just watching a game of football, is a good alternative.


"Spend some time this weekend on home improvement; improve your attitude toward your family."   -  Bo Bennett

Sales Joke of the Day (September 8) The Dog.

It was the first NFL Sunday of the year.  The salesman walked into the bar with his collie Bronco.  Ordering a beer while Bronco sat at his feet, the salesman said to the bartender.  "Say, I'll bet you five dollars that my dog can talk."

Glancing down at the collie, the bartender pulled a five-dollar bill from his pocket and slapped it on the counter.  "You're on!"

Turning to the dog, the salesman asked, "What's another way of saying fifty percent?"

Bronco replied, "Arf!"

Scratching his head, the bartender pulled another five-dollar bill from his pocket and lay it on the table.  "Five bucks more says he can't answer another question."

Accepting the challenge, the salesman turns to Bronco and asks, "What's the opposite of on?"

Bronco replied, "Arf!"

Catching on, the bartender said, "Okay, wise guy.  Fifty bucks say he can't do it again, only this time I get to ask the question.  Before the salesman could reply, the bartender had taken the money from his cash register and bent over to address the dog.

"Who's the greatest quarterback that ever played in the NFL?" asked the bartender.

Bronco replied, "Manning?"

Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales it often pays to know your sports.  Especially football.  Remember each week, if you're inclined to the occasional friendly wager, to never pick dogs and never ever bet against Manning.

"If nothing else in life, I want to be true to the things I believe in, and quite simply, to what I'm all about.  I know I'd better, because it seems whenever I take a false step or two I feel the consequences."      -   Peyton Manning