Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (April 24) The Wedding Gown.

A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"

The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?"

"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our hotel.”

"My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"That one was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be, but nothing ever happened." 

Moral of the story.  True sales professionals never get in a customer’s way who wants to buy something.  Suggestions are fine, as long as they do not appear as being too direct.  Subtle hints enclosed in questions, work well in these situations.  However, never impose  your personal opinion, political viewpoint, religious convictions or style on another individual.  Remember that as a sales professional or consultant, you are often placed in a position of trust.  Don’t abuse that trust, because, once it is lost, it’s impossible to restore.


"A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil.  She wants to see what she is getting."                                           -  Helen Rowland




Sunday, November 17, 2013

Sales Joke of the Day (November 17) Halftime Chat.

Two salesmen were keeping up their weekly tradition that they kept on Sunday afternoon during football season.  They would meet at their local sports bar to watch one of the one o'clock football games on the jumbo TV while they would enjoy a few beers and some chicken wings.   During the game they would be cheering for the various teams they had bet on that week, and by halftime, most weeks, they would both be two sheets to the wind.  This put them in the perfect state of mind,  drunken regret, to take part in their weekly halftime discussion about life and marriage.


The first salesman started in with, "Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's degree."


"And a woman gains her Masters!" added the second.


"You know sport, I've always admired how you never refer to your wife by her first name.  Instead you always use pet names like Sugar, Honey, Kitten or Sweetie.  I think that is so sweet, sweetie!   Using all those terms of endearment shows just how much you care about her," declared the first salesman.


"To tell you the truth," replied the second.  "I forgot her real name three years ago and have just been covering up ever since!"


As the football game was ready to get started again with the second half kick-off, the first salesman took another swig of beer and this time more quietly said, "My wife's an angel."


At that point the second salesman gestured a toast with his beer bottle to the first and exclaimed, "You're lucky - mine's still alive!"


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales you need to be able to unwind and relax on the weekend.   One great way to unwind is to get together and play an organized team sport like football, with friends and/or business associates.   If such a venue is not an option for you in your immediate area, exercising your right elbow and your freedom of speech at a local pub, while just watching a game of football, is a good alternative.


"Spend some time this weekend on home improvement; improve your attitude toward your family."   -  Bo Bennett