Sales Joke of the Day (May 27) Fishing.

A kind-hearted salesman was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lilies.


"Tsk!  Tsk!" said the salesman to himself as he passed by.  "What a sad sight.  That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers, I'll see if I can help him out."


The kind salesman walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?"


"Fishin, sir."


"Fishin, eh?  Well how would you like to com have a drink with me?"


The old man stood, put his rod away and followed the kind salesman to the corner bar.  He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar.


His host, the kind salesman, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?"


The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to be successful in sales, you have to be fishing for opportunities 24 X 7.  The real trick, you can only learn through experience, is making sure you stay focused on "reel" opportunities while not falling for someone else's bait.


"The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope."  -  John Buchan

Sales Joke of the Day (archives) The Golden Years?

Two retired sales reps are sitting on a park bench, feeding the pigeons and talking about old times.  Uber-competitive throughout their careers, they never lose an opportunity to "one-up" one another.   Today is no different.

"My arthritis is acting up again this morning," says the first sales rep.  "I must be getting old. But I'm only 75!"

"You think you've gotten old?" asserts the second rep.  "Wait till you turn 76 like me!  I've had two by-pass surgeries, a hip replacement, and I've had three new knees.  I've beat prostate cancer while fighting type-2 diabetes.  I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  I have bought of dementia, poor circulation and I can hardly feel my hands or feet anymore.  I feel like I have to go to the bathroom, even when I'm going to the bathroom!  I can't remember if I'm 76 or 86.  I've lost most of my friends."         "But,   thank the Lord I still have my Florida driver's license!"

Moral of the story.   If you're in Florida on business, forget the rental car!  Take a taxi and let the taxi company take the risk of driving on those roads!    While the cab driver does the driving, you can just sit back and enjoy the view or get some work done.   If a senior citizen drives right into your vehicle, it's the cab company's problem.  It's their insurance that takes the hit.  Bottom line.  When you're traveling on business, travel as light as possible and don't take any unnecessary risks!

"All diseases run into one, old age."    -   Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sales Joke of the Day (September 25) The Centurion

An old salesman was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.


"Folks, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled.  "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."


The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.


"Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago.  On our wedding night we made a solemn pledge.  Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk."


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that physical fitness is a key component to enduring success.  After all, without your health, how are you going to be able to enjoy all that wealth you've worked so hard for?


"Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live."      -     Jim Rohn