The salesman was driving down a lonely northern road one cold winter
day when it began to snow pretty heavily. His windows were getting
icy, his wiper blades were badly worn and quickly fell apart under the
strain.
Unable to drive any further because of the ice building
up on his front window the salesman suddenly had a great idea. He
stopped and began to overturn large rocks until he located two very
lethargic hibernating rattlesnakes.
The salesman grabbed them
up, straightened them out flat and installed them on the car's wiper
brackets, and they worked just fine.
Of course, that's because they were wind-chilled vipers.
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
succeed in business you have to be able to drive long distances in a lot
of inclement weather. There are no "snow days" off in sales. In
order to arrive at your destination safely, when driving in winter
conditions, make sure your windshield wipers are working perfectly and
that your windshield wiper fluid tank isn't running on empty. In many
northern climates, it's a good idea to invest in a good set of snow
tires. That added traction could make all the difference between
arriving on time or arriving in pieces. Last, make sure to allow extra
time to travel in bad weather. Speed is not your friend on slippery
roads, and is the number one cause of winter car accidents. The second
cause of winter car accidents? Motorists having to swerve quickly in
order to avoid people who have gotten out of their cars at the side of
the road in order to look for new wind-chilled vipers.
"Then come the wild weather, come sleet or come snow, we stand by each other, however it blow." - Simon Dach
The salesman and his wife are getting ready to go to his company
Christmas party that evening. They are are dressed up, looking their
best as the salesman puts their cat out in the backyard for the
evening. Their taxi arrives, but just as the couple is leaving their
cat shoots back into the house. They don't want their cat left in the
house, so the salesman's wife goes out to the taxi while the husband
goes upstairs to chase the cat outside.
The salesman's wife, not wanting it known that the home will be
empty, explains to the taxi driver: "My husband is just going upstairs
to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later the salesman gets
into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long!" he exclaimed. "That stupid animal was
hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a two by four to get her
to come out! Then I had to wrap her in blanket to keep her from
scratching and biting me, or drooling all over my brand new suit. I
finally was able to haul her b-u-t-t downstairs and toss her in the
backyard! She'd better not scratch the paint off our back door or take
a c-r-a-p on the deck again, either!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
succeed at sales they need to avoid taking unnecessary risks. For
some, the company Christmas party is a time to celebrate the year and
cut loose with your co-workers. Often this may lead to an
over-consumption of alcohol. That is why it's always best to take a
cab to these events. Taking the "fare"way rather than the freeway is a
reasonable toll to ensure that death's bell doesn't toll for you.
"There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet
her for ten minutes she'll bother you for six hours." - Scott Adams
