Sales Joke of the Day (May 29) Phone Power!

A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father, a salesperson, and asked, "Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?"


The salesman replied, "It is mostly a matter of degree.  Let me show you what I mean."  With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random.  To the man who answered the phone, he said, "Hello, is Melvin there?"


The man answered, "There is no one living here named Melvin.  Why don't you learn to look up numbers before you dial them?"


"See," said the father to his daughter.  "That man was not a bit happy with our call.  He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him.  Now watch...."


The father dialed the number again.  "Hello, is Melvin there?" asked the father.


"Now look here!" came the heated reply.  "You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here!  You've got a lot of nerve calling again!"  The receiver slammed down hard.


The father turned to his daughter and said, "You see, that was anger.  Now I'll show you what exasperation means."  He dialed again the same number, and when a violent voice roared "Hello!" the father calmly said, "Hello, this is Melvin.  Have there been any calls for me?"


Moral of the story:  If you're in sales teach your kids early the power of the telephone.  Using the telephone they could earn a living is sales, journalism or research.   Teach them that it would be wrong to play a "Melvin" on anyone unless of course you are in telephone sales and someone is particularly rude to you.   Only after the customary three day waiting period is a "Melvin" absolutely required.  As far as running into an actual Melvin...  Don't worry!  Our labs have done the math and statistically you should run into a Melvin only once in 28,432 calls.   At ten calls a day, 200 selling days a year, that's only  once every fourteen years!   Isn't there a comet named Melvin?   Regardless, clear sailing in my books.


"All these gadgets, the phone and the computer, they expose the inside of your brain in a way that's bad."     -  Michel Gondry

 

Sales Joke of the Day (January 24) The Sales Interview.

Four salesman - a Californian, a Texan, a Bostonian and a New Yorker - were being interviewed for a prestigious sales job with a large multi-national company.  There was nothing to choose between them, each was highly qualified,  so the company president told them over dinner at a luxurious hotel that he would be conducting the decisive test the following morning.  Each candidate would be asked the same question and the one who came up with the best answer would get the job.

First in the following morning was the Californian.

"Here is your question," said the president.  "What is the fastest thing in the world?"

Scarcely hesitating, the Californian replied:  "A thought, because it takes no time at all.  It happens right there in your mind, in an instant, and then it's gone again."

"That's a very good answer," replied the president.

Next in was the Texan.   "What is the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.

"A blink," replied the Texan instantaneously, "because you don't even think about a blink.  It's a reflex."

"That's a fine answer," replied the president.

Next in was the Bostonian.  "What's the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.

The Bostonian thought for a second.  "I'd say electricity, because you can flip a switch and immediately ten miles away a light will go on."

"That's an excellent answer," replied the president.

Finally it was the turn of the New Yorker.  "What is the fastest thing in the world?" asked the president.

The New Yorker scratched his head and replied, "Diarrhea, because last night after dinner I was lying on the bed when I got these terrible stomach cramps and before I could think, blink or turn on the light....."

Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales you need to always respond with the truth.   Sometimes, the answer will be a "sheety" one; but if it is the truth, before your prospect can think, blink or turn on a light; they'll realize that you are honest and sincere.   Customers know that sincerity builds trust, and instinctively people like working with people they know they can trust over the long haul.

OR,    Sometimes you can give a real "sheety" answer in an interview and still get the job!

"Sincerity makes the very least person to be of more value than the most talented hypocrite."                                                                               -  Charles Spurgeon

Sales Joke of the Day (December 26) The Game Show.

It was Boxing Day, and a salesman was fortunate enough to be selected to be a contestant on a TV Game Show and for $500,000 he was asked to name two of Santa's reindeer.

"Rudolph and Olive,"   he answered confidently.

There was a stunned silence among the audience.  They didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

The host shuffled uneasily.  "Er, uh, we can accept Rudolph, but I'm not sure about Olive.  How did you come by that?"

The salesman began to sing, "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it you would even say it glows.  Olive, the other reindeer....."

Moral of the story.     True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales, it never comes down to has the correct answers, but rather, who asks the better questions.  As for Olive, the other reindeer, let them laugh, let them call you names, and quite frankly who cares whether or not they let you play their reindeer games.  They are never the ones most folks remember anyway.

"You'll go down in history."      -    Billy Gilman