Sales Joke of the Day (May 9) "Hunting" for a promotion?

A guy goes hunting and wants to hire a dog to retrieve the catch.


"I have just the dog for you, sir." says the gamekeeper. "He's called Salesman and he is brilliant" Off they go and every time the hunter shoots a bird, the dog runs off and brings the bird back just as he was hired to do; a great success.


The following year, the same guy goes back and asks for Salesman since he was so good the previous year.


"Ah, I'm sorry, sir, but that dog won't work anymore. Someone had the bright idea of calling him Sales Manager and now he just sits on his arse and barks all day".


Moral of the story:    Actions speak louder than words!   If given the opportunity to be sales manager, make sure you lead by example.  The mere title of manager means you still have to hunt for business, you can't just sit there and point.  Real coaching, real mentoring and real team development requires work.   Work that can't be done from sitting on your office chair just peering through the reeds of of a spreadsheet.

"Problem solving is hunting.  It is savage pleasure and we are born to do it."

-Thomas Harris

Sales Joke of the Day (April 26) The Hunting Accident?

A couple of sales reps from New Jersey are out in the woods hunting when the healthcare rep falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. 


The used car salesman whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”


The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.


The used car salesman's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales you cannot rush things when it comes to tough situations.   When you are on the road and require technical support, make sure to use plenty of confirmation questions to make sure you completely understand the instructions you are receiving through the phone.  Acting on mere assumptions of what you think you hear could have very serious consequences.


"When you stop learning, stop listening, stop looking and asking questions, always new questions, then it is time to die."    -  Lillian Smith

                  

Sales Joke of the Day (archives) Wolf Hunting.

Mike and Bill, a salesman and a systems consultant, are hanging out in the lone bar in a one-horse town in Northern Idaho.  They have an appointment with a local prospect the following afternoon.  At that moment a local rancher walks in carrying a wolf pelt.


"Good work," said the bartender.  He pops open the cash register, pulls out a wad of bills and counts them into the rancher's outstretched hand.


After the rancher leaves, the salesman, Mike asks the bartender, "What was that all about?"


The barkeep says, "You boys mustn't be from around here.  Haven't you heard?  We got us a real wolf problem in these parts, and the county ain't done a thing about it.  Why, just last week, a pack of the damn varmints came onto my property and laid waste to my chicken coup.  Old man Miller down the road even lost four of his prized cattle to the blood thirsty beasts!  They are vicious, and they got no fear.  They gotta be stopped.  So I'm offering a bounty of a hundred dollars to anyone who brings in a wolf pelt.


Mike and Bill took a look at each other, and immediately race out of the bar to go hunt wolves.  After wandering around the hills for several hours, they finally spot a lone wolf in the distance.  The salesman takes aim with his rented rifle and shoots the wolf dead.  The two colleagues sprint over to where the carcass lay, and Mike gets busy with the pelt.


Suddenly Bill, the systems consultant says,  "Hey Mike look!"


"Not now!" Mike says.  "Can't you see I'm busy with a hundred dollars almost in my hands?"


Bill's voice starts to waver, "No Mike, look now!  We've bitten off more than we can chew here."


Mike stops what he's doing and looks up.  The two men are surrounded by a pack of at least 50 wolves.  Every one of them growling, drooling, gnashing their teeth and licking their chops.


Mike the salesman takes the sight in and gasps, "Wow!  We're going to be rich!"


Moral of the story.   As a sales professional, if you find yourself out in the middle of nowhere, chasing an opportunity that has nothing to do with your company's core competency, and your system consultant warns that you've bitten off more than you can chew!   Listen to him!   There could be more than just your personal credibility on the line.  It could be your career!

"If you live among wolves you have to act like a wolf!"   -  Nikita Khrushchev