Sales Joke of the Day (April 15) The Peddler.

Igor the peddler was busted for selling woolen hats without a license, and he was hauled into court along with three prostitutes who had been arraigned on the same day.

"It's all a case of mistaken identity," protested the first streetwalker to be summoned before the bench.  "I'm just minding my own business when this car pulls up - "

"Drop it," interrupted the judge, "I've seen you in this courthouse at least a dozen times before.  That will be one hundred and fifty dollars, and it will be twice that if I set eyes on you again.   Next!"

The second hooker whined, "I was just on my way to night school, Judge, to learn how to make an honest dollar, when -"

"Cut the crap," the magistrate broke in, "Two hundred and fifty bucks or ten days in jail.  You choose.  Next!"

The third woman came forward and declared, "Your Honor, I plead guilty:  I am a prostitute.  It's not the living I'd choose, but it's the only way I can make enough to feed and clothe my family, so it's what I do."

The judge smiled.  "Finally, someone who realizes a courtroom is a place to tell the truth.  to reward your honesty, young woman, I'm dismissing your case.  In fact, Mr. O'Brien" - he turned and summoned the bailiff, "make sure Miss Cardoza gets seventy-five dollars from the Policemen's Benevolent Fund.  Next?"

Up stepped Igor the peddler, who had been paying close attention to what was going on.  His street smart selling skills sensed an opportunity to score a few bucks.  "Your Honor," he said frankly, "I'm not going to lie to you either.  I'm a prostitute."

Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know better than to ever prostitute their or their company's reputation just to make a quick sale.  The thought that "telling the customer what they want to hear" just to close some business, whether it's true or not, is short-sighted and just plain wrong.  Trust, personal integrity and truth, if maintained, will lead to a long sales career and genuine business partnerships.  Dealing with prospects and customers honestly and fairly; pays.  It pays in terms of revenue, commissions and more additional customers through referral business.   Never underestimate the power of the truth.


"Seek not greatness, but seek truth and you will find both."  -  Horace Mann

Sales Joke of the Day (October 1) The Trial.

A man is in court facing a charge of murder, and the judge says, "You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."


Suddenly, a salesman at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You j-e-r-k!"


The judge continues, "You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer."


Again the salesman at the back of the courtroom yells out "You j-e-r-k!"


Angrily, the judge turns his gaze upon the salesman and says, "Now, we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt!  What is your problem?"


The salesman at the back of the courtroom says, "Fifteen years I've lived next door to that  j-e-r-k, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer he didn't have one!"


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales it's always important to retain your dignity.   Yes there will be others who commit what you consider to be very offensive acts and there will be some who derive pleasure by taking cheap shots at you from a distance.   But in either case, you must never call them out on their bad deeds in public, for then, some of their bad karma rubs off on you.   Better to just avoid these negative lightening rods altogether.  Eventually their own lack of character will come shining through and they will be held accountable.  


"We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker.  It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions."       -   Ronald Reagan