Sales Joke of the Day (April 18) The Bus Stop.

One day, at a bus stop there was a young woman who was wearing a skin-tight miniskirt.  When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight that she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach the step.  Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzips her skirt a little.  She still could not reach the step.


Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more.  Still she couldn't reach the step.  So, with her skirt zipper half way down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way.  Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifts her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.


Seeing how embarrassed the young woman was, the salesman standing behind her, put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on the first step of the bus.  The young woman turns around furiously and says, "How dare you touch my body that way?  I don't even know you!"


Shocked the salesman replies, "Well Miss, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times I had just assumed we were friends.


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals never assume that they have any sort of person relationship with their prospects.  Assuming that your personal relationship will automatically get you to the next "step" in your sales cycle is faulty thinking and can cause your opportunity or opportunities based on such misguided beliefs to just disappear into thin air.  Thinking for a moment, that some fantasy friendship-based ride will come along and just take you to the promised land of sales success, will just leave you doing nothing but waiting at the bus stop for a route that does not exist.

"I think that more and more you're going to see people of good will on their side of the aisle say you know what, we got to get off the bus here, this is not headed in the right direction."  

-  David Axelrod

Sales Joke of the Day (March 5) The Bus Driver.

A down on his luck salesman, decided to change careers and headed to bus driver's school.  When he graduated, his first assignment was the Sesame Street route.


At his first stop, he picked up a cow. When she got on the bus, she said, "Hello. My name is Patty."


He replied, "Hello, Patty. Since you are the first one on, you get your choice of seats."


She waddled on back and sat down. At the next stop he picked up another cow. As she got on, she said, "Hi there. My name is Patty."


He answered, "That's unusual. The other passenger is also named Patty. Why don't you go back and sit on the other side of the aisle and talk to her. Maybe you have more in common than just your name."


She went on back and sat opposite the other Patty and struck up a conversation. At the next stop, a little boy got on and said, "Hi! My name's Leonard Keyes. I've got some special socks, See?"


The driver replied, "Those sure are special, Leonard. Have a seat and we'll get to your stop real soon. As he was driving to the next stop, he looked in his mirror and saw that Leonard had taken his socks off and draped them over the seat in front of him, and was picking his feet.


He called back, "Leonard! What are you doing?"


Leonard called back, "I've got bunions, and they're bothering me."


At the next corner, the driver stopped the bus, got off, went to a pay phone, and called the bus garage. "I quit!" he said.


The garage dispatcher asked why.


The salesman replied, "It's my first day on the job, and already I have 2 all beef Pattys, special socks, Leonard Keyes, picking bunions on the Sesame Street Run!" 


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales they need to be fully dedicated.  From time to time other careers might some hold some appeal, but true sales professionals never lose focus.   Because they know that if they do, one day soon their only closing question might be, "Would you like fries with that?"


"The world does not need tourists who ride by in a bus clucking their tongues.  The world as it is needs those who will love it enough to change it, with what they have, where they are."    -  Robert Fulghum