Sales Joke of the Day (May 9) One Too Many.

Two salesmen were enjoying a long evening after work, drinking at the bar.  After about five hours, one turned to the other and said, "I've got to get out of here.  I have to go home right now and take my wife's panties off!"


The second salesman's jaw drops to the bar as he said, "What made you suddenly think of that?"


The first salesman replied, "Because after a long day at work and now sitting here on this narrow bar stool, they're just too darn tight and they're starting to cut of my circulation."


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know better than to ever have too much to drink.  Too much alcohol tends to loosen your inhibitions and causes you to let your guard down.   Then you start sharing way too much information about yourself to the very people who can use it against you later. 
 

"What's the worst thing that can happen?  If it doesn't do well I can put on my big girl panties, deal with it and move on."   -  Halle Berry

 

Hey folks!   Have a great weekend!

Just make sure it is a safe one! 

Sales Joke of the Day (March 27) The Bum.

On his way home from a long road trip, at dusk, a salesman is flagged down at the side of the road by a bum.  The guy is foul smelling, his clothes are ragged, he's unshaven in short; a mess.


"Hey buddy!  Can you spare five dollars?" says the bum.


"You'll probably just spend it on alcohol," replied the salesman.


"Don't drink," said the bum.


"Cigarettes, then," countered the salesman.


"Don't smoke," replied the bum.


"Well, you would probably end up gambling it away," asserted the salesman.


"Don't gamble," replied the bum.


"Ok, said the salesman, I'll give you five dollars, but I'll need to take you home, since I don't have any change on me."


"Fine with me," replied the bum, "it's not like I have any place to be right now anyway."


So the salesman drives the bum to his place, and walks him in the front door to get the five dollars.  His wife immediately asks, "Honey, who is this and what is he doing here?"  


The salesman brushes by his wife and heads upstairs to get the bum the five dollars.


"Is he staying for dinner?" asks his wife.


"No," came the reply from upstairs.


"Will he be doing some work around the house?" she asked, looking up the stair for her husband to return while keeping a sharp eye on the bum near the door.


"No," replied the salesman as he bounded down the stairs with a five dollar bill in his hand.  "Here you go," he said handing the five dollar bill to the bum.   "Honey, I brought this kind stranger home just to give him five dollars AND so you could first hand what happens to a man if he stops drinking, smoking and gambling!"


Moral of the story.    As any sales professional knows, smoking, drinking or gambling at work could cost you your job.  Only the sales greats truly understand that if you cut smoking, drinking and gambling out altogether; not only does your life become boring;  but you stand the chance of sinking your entire career and becoming a bum at the side of the road.



"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."       - Oscar Wilde