Sales Joke of the Day (April 25) Brains For Sale.

A traveler wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. The shop specialized in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read:


Brains On Sale.


Hi-tech Salespersons' Brains ... $9/lb


Real Estate Salespersons'  Brains ... $12/lb


Life Insurance Salespersons'. Brains ... $15/lb


New Car Salespersons´ Brains ... $33/lb


Used Car Salespersons´ Brains ... $87/lb


Sales Managers´ Brains ... $146/lb


Upon reading the sign, the traveler noted, "My, those sales managers´ brains must be something."


To which the butcher replied, "Are you kidding! Do you have any idea how many of them you have to kill to get a pound of brains?!"


Moral of the story.    Sales professionals know that the true value derived from any sales transaction does not stem from the amount of work the vendor puts into the product.  Rather true value is derived from the net benefit received by those actually utilizing the product or service just purchased.  Often sales reps who use a cost plus price model leave money on the table that a prospect or customer would be willing to pay.  Once you get your head wrapped around the concept of value based pricing, your sales career will soar.   Start working out your brain today and really think about areas of your business where value-based pricing might apply.  A little bit of brain power focused on how your customer will benefit from your product or service will go a long way.   So get your head in the game.


"Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable."    -  Leo Rosten

Sales Joke of the Day (April 4) The Brain Operation.

A salesman in upstate New York, wanted to marry a woman from the old country, but the old country had a law that you have to be from the old country to marry someone from there or at least "fit in" with the general population.  Since he was an intelligent salesperson, an old country tribunal ruled that he would have to have at least 50% of his brain removed to "fit in."


So the salesman goes to a surgeon and says "Doc, I just have to marry this woman.  I love her so much.  Can you remove 50% of my brain so I can fit in?"


After much persuasion, three probing questions, two trial closes and a, what if scenario later, the doctor finally relents by saying, "Well, it's risky but okay."


So into the operating room they go for the partial brain removal procedure.   Later, when the salesman wakes up, the doctor comes in and says, "We are very, very, sorry.  But we accidentally removed 85% of your brain instead of just 50%.


The salesman looks up and says, "I object your honor!"


Moral of the story.   Since the beginning of time, sales professionals have always known that sales is something you "do" while law is just something you "practice."   In law, objections are just "raised" but in sales objections are actually "handled."  Quite frankly if there were more salesman in government, rather than lawyers, we'd be looking to Washington for ROI instead of just asking "Why? Why? Why?"


Why doesn't America send more salesmen to Washington?    I don't know.  Could it be because sales professionals actually ask questions and solve problems ?


So if a lawyer, ever tries to hold their degree, their status or their reputation as a lawyer over you.   Tell them.......


"I could have been a lawyer.....   But I didn't want to risk the operation!"


"It is not what a lawyer tells me I may do; but what humanity, reason, and justice tell me I ought to do."    -  Edmund Burke