A salesman in upstate New York, wanted to marry a woman from the old
country, but the old country had a law that you have to be from the old
country to marry someone from there or at least "fit in" with the
general population. Since he was an intelligent salesperson, an old
country tribunal ruled that he would have to have at least 50% of his
brain removed to "fit in."
So the salesman goes to a surgeon and says "Doc, I just have to marry
this woman. I love her so much. Can you remove 50% of my brain so I
can fit in?"
After much persuasion, three probing questions, two trial closes and
a, what if scenario later, the doctor finally relents by saying, "Well,
it's risky but okay."
So into the operating room they go for the partial brain removal procedure.
Later, when the salesman wakes up, the doctor comes in and says, "We
are very, very, sorry. But we accidentally removed 85% of your brain
instead of just 50%.
The salesman looks up and says, "I object your honor!"
Moral of the story. Since the beginning of time, sales
professionals have always known that sales is something you "do" while
law is just something you "practice." In law, objections are just
"raised" but in sales objections are actually "handled." Quite frankly
if there were more salesman in government, rather than lawyers, we'd be
looking to Washington for ROI instead of just asking "Why? Why? Why?"
Why doesn't America send more salesmen to Washington? I don't
know. Could it be because sales professionals actually ask questions
and solve problems ?
So if a lawyer, ever tries to hold their degree, their status or their reputation as a lawyer over you. Tell them.......
"I could have been a lawyer..... But I didn't want to risk the operation!"
"It is not what a lawyer tells me I may do; but what humanity, reason, and justice tell me I ought to do." - Edmund Burke
A salesman went into a rundown public
toilet stall in an airport in Chicago. The toilets were separated by
nothing more than low partitions, as a business executive, probably a
lawyer, the salesman thought, stepped into the stall next to him. The
two men "briefly" acknowledged one another with that awkward public restroom type look, and then set about the business of emptying their bowels.
The salesman finished first but as he pulled up his pants prior to
flushing the toilet, some coins from his pocket fell into the toilet
bowl. He looked at it, thought for a moment, and then dropped a $50
bill into the bowl.
The lawyer, who hear the weird commotion, peered over the partition and said: "What the heck did you do that for?"
The salesman quickly replied: "You don't expect me to put my hand in
there for just seventy-five cents, do you? Wait a minute, look who
I'm talking to!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
succeed they have to put in that extra little bit of effort every day.
Great sales people will put up with a lot of crap, roll up their
sleeves and dig right into the task at hand. If, they're really
motivated. And, if, there is enough money on the table to make it
worth their while.
"The devil himself probably redesigned Hell in light of the
information he gained from observing airport layouts." - Anthony Price
The salesman went to an attorney to ask about a divorce.
"What grounds do you have sir?" asked the attorney.
"About six acres," replied the salesman.
"No, I don't think you quite understand. Let me rephrase the question. Do you have a grudge?" asked the attorney.
"No, just a parking space."
"I'll try again. Does your wife beat you up?" asked the attorney.
"No, I always wake up before she does."
The attorney soon realized he was fighting a losing battle. "Sir, are you sure you want a divorce?"
"I'm not the one who wants a divorce," replied the salesman. "My wife does. She claims we don't communicate!"
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales, they have to be great communicators. They understand that they not only have to be able to ask great questions, they also have to be able to listen and fully respond to questions from others in order to have an engaging conversation; or avoid having a conversation about divorce.
"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."
- Bryant H. McGill
