Sales Joke of the Day (April 3) The Faith Healer.

Among many other attractions, the traveling circus featured The Fantastic Francis Hardy, a faith healer who claimed the ability to heal any malady, slight or serious, real or imagined.  He usually drew a big crowd, from which he would select a few people on whom to practice his healing skills.  Among the unfortunate, one Friday night, were Susan Sussman, on crutches due to a congenital spine malformation, and Liam Bland, who suffered from a terrible lisp all his life.  So bad was his lisp that it was negatively impacting his chosen profession, which was sales.   "Susan and Liam," asked Francis, "do you want to be healed?"

"Yeth, thir," said Liam and Susan nodded vigorously.

Fantastic Francis motioned them behind a purple velvet curtain and proceeded to chant and pray, grinding powders together and swaying before the audience.  Finally he intoned, "Susan, throw out your left crutch."

A crutch came sailing over the curtain.

"Susan, throw out your right crutch."

A second crutch came sailing over the curtain and clattered on the floor at the healer's feet.

"Now, Liam," asked Francis solemnly, "I urge you, don't be afraid!  Say something to the people!"

Liam's voice came clearly from behind the purple curtain, through the loudspeaker system.  "Thomebody, pleathe help.  Thuthan Thuthman just fell down hard.  I think the broke her ath."

Moral of the story.  No matter how rough the first quarter may have been, true sales professionals know that a miracle will not save their 2014 sales number.  Only hard work and finely tuned sales skills will get get the job done.  Excuses and whining about the economy are crutches that many sales people lean on to rationalize their own shortcomings.  Throw these two crutches over the curtain to yesterday!   Let your confidence, your experience, your sales skills and your perseverance slay the quota dragon that stands before you in the path to your future success!   Fight on fellow sales pros!   Fight on!


"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.  Talent will not:  nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.  Genius will not: unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.   Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."       -  Calvin Coolidge

Sales Joke of the Day (March 23) The Interview.

An unemployed salesman walked into the human resources department of a large company and handed in his job application.  As the HR executive scanned his resume, she realized that the salesman had been fired from every job he ever had.


"If you don't mind me saying so, your employment history us appalling,"  said the executive.  "You've been dismissed from all twelve jobs you've had, and you've only been working for six years!"


"I know," agreed the salesman.


"Well, I'm afraid I can't allow you to be hired for any position within our firm.  Unless you can think of one good reason we should hire you?"


"Well," said the salesman, "at least it shows, I'm not a quitter!"


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that persistence against resistance is the only way to win.  If you get fired from your job, or you lose an account, shake it off and keep moving forward.   Never let one or a dozen small setbacks, permanently discourage your will to succeed.


"Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence.  The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning."   
                                                        -   Dennis Waitley

Sales Joke of the Day (January 26) Cold Calling.

The salesman phoned up a local law firm and asked to speak with Mr. Hanson, his ex-wife's lawyer.


"I'm sorry," said the law firm's receptionist, "but Mr. Hanson died last night."


Ten minutes later the phone rang again.  The same voice asked:  "Can I speak to Mr. Hanson, my ex-wife's lawyer?"


"I'm afraid that's not possible," said the receptionist.  "As I told you a few minutes ago, Mr. Hanson died last night."


Ten minutes later the phone rang again.  The same voice said:  "I'd like to speak with Mr. Hanson, my ex-wife's lawyer."


"Look," said the receptionist, "I've told you twice already, Mr. Hanson is dead.  Why do you keep calling?   Don't you understand?"


"Sure I understand," replied the salesman.  "I just enjoy hearing you saying it over and over again."


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales, persistence is a requirement;  persistence and lots of cold calling.  The true art of selling gets painted when one determines just how many times one tries to call in, before getting a sale, or getting the brush off.


"Every calling is great when greatly pursued."      -  Oliver Wendell Holmes

Sales Joke of the Day (August 6) It Starts Early

During a magazine and newspaper subscription a young paperboy learned about good salesmanship and bested his peers.  His supervisor had instructed the kids to maintain a positive attitude, even when turned down.  One potential customer told the boy, "I've got papers magazines strewn all over the place!  I don't need anymore."

The kid's response?  "Well Mister, how about a subscription to 'Good Housekeeping' to help you get the rest of your magazines in order?"

He made the sale.

Moral of the story.   It's a tough economy out there.  But the kid's supervisor was spot on.  To be successful you have to maintain a positive attitude even when you're turned down.

"A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success." 
                                                  

                                                  
                    -    Elbert Hubbard