Thursday, April 03, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (April 3) The Faith Healer.

Among many other attractions, the traveling circus featured The Fantastic Francis Hardy, a faith healer who claimed the ability to heal any malady, slight or serious, real or imagined.  He usually drew a big crowd, from which he would select a few people on whom to practice his healing skills.  Among the unfortunate, one Friday night, were Susan Sussman, on crutches due to a congenital spine malformation, and Liam Bland, who suffered from a terrible lisp all his life.  So bad was his lisp that it was negatively impacting his chosen profession, which was sales.   "Susan and Liam," asked Francis, "do you want to be healed?"

"Yeth, thir," said Liam and Susan nodded vigorously.

Fantastic Francis motioned them behind a purple velvet curtain and proceeded to chant and pray, grinding powders together and swaying before the audience.  Finally he intoned, "Susan, throw out your left crutch."

A crutch came sailing over the curtain.

"Susan, throw out your right crutch."

A second crutch came sailing over the curtain and clattered on the floor at the healer's feet.

"Now, Liam," asked Francis solemnly, "I urge you, don't be afraid!  Say something to the people!"

Liam's voice came clearly from behind the purple curtain, through the loudspeaker system.  "Thomebody, pleathe help.  Thuthan Thuthman just fell down hard.  I think the broke her ath."

Moral of the story.  No matter how rough the first quarter may have been, true sales professionals know that a miracle will not save their 2014 sales number.  Only hard work and finely tuned sales skills will get get the job done.  Excuses and whining about the economy are crutches that many sales people lean on to rationalize their own shortcomings.  Throw these two crutches over the curtain to yesterday!   Let your confidence, your experience, your sales skills and your perseverance slay the quota dragon that stands before you in the path to your future success!   Fight on fellow sales pros!   Fight on!

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.  Talent will not:  nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.  Genius will not: unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.   Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts.  Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."       -  Calvin Coolidge