Friday, April 11, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (April 11) The Waiter.

To celebrate crushing his quota in the first quarter, the salesman took some co-workers and his boss,  out to a new restaurant.   After they placed their order, the salesman noticed that the waiter who took their order, carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought out their water and utensils, the salesman noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. 

"How strange?" the salesman thought to himself.  But as he looked around he saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve his soup the salesman asked, "Why does everyone have a spoon in their pocket?

"Well," explained the waiter, "the restaurant's owners hired an efficiency expert to revamp all our processes.  After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon is the most frequently dropped utensil.  It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, the salesman's boss dropped his spoon and the waiter was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now," the waiter proudly stated. 

The salesman and his boss were impressed.   Studying the situation a little further, the salesman also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.   Looking around, he noticed that all the male waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before the waiter walked away with their dirty dishes and brought their next course, the salesman asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?" 

"Oh, certainly!" exclaimed the waiter.  Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%."  

The salesman then had to ask the obvious question, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," whispered the waiter, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to succeed in sales, you really need to fully understand how your prospect's company works.  Are there any non-standard or outdated processes that need to be improved upon?  Can your technology improve how your prospect's firm is doing things?  Or are things so bizarre that even the fork in the road is telling you to take the next exit, turn right, and get away from that prospect as quickly as possible. 

"A man with a silver spoon may get his share of supporters, but he can never be an inspiration for somebody!  Patience and hard work are the key to every man's success."   
                                                           -  Kailash Kher