Sales Joke of the Day (April 18) The Last Name.

The sales manager of a large office asked a new employee to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the sales manager asked.


"John," the new guy replied.


The manager scowled. "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority" he said. "I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"


The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."


The sales manager said, "Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you..."


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales you need to master the use of your prospect's first name.   Everyone pays more attention when their first name is used in conversation and it can serve to build rapport.   Overuse a prospect's first name however and you will lose credibility.  So proceed with caution and respect.


"The only thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name."  -  Theodore Roosevelt

Sales Joke of the Day (March 29) The Big One That Got Away.

A hot shot salesman, considered a tough negotiator, was out fishing one day when he caught a strange looking fish.  He reeled the fish in, unhooked it, and threw it on the ground next to him.  The fish started writhing in agony and, to the salesman's surprise, said, "Please throw me back into the lake and I'll grant you three wishes."


"Any three wishes, huh?" the salesman mused as visions of expensive fast cars, beach front property and gorgeous women paraded through his head.  "Fish," he finally exclaimed, "give me five wishes and I'll throw you back."


"Sorry," the fish answered while struggling for breath, "only three wishes."


The salesman's pride was now at stake and after giving the matter some thought he announced.  "What do you take me for?  A sucker?  I'll settle for four wishes."


"Only three," the fish murmured weakly.


Fuming, the salesman debated the pros and cons of accepting the three wishes or continuing to bargain for that extra wish.  Finally, the hot shot decided it wasn't worth looking a gift fish in the mouth and said, "All right fish, you win, three wishes."


Unfortunately, the fish was dead.


Moral of the story.   Not everyone appreciates "deadpan" humor.  True sales professionals appreciate the art of the deal.  True sales professionals also appreciate the fact that if you push a "hooked" prospect too far during the negotiation phase, that they could jump off your "line" and become a "sinker."  Or worse still, they could get "lured" away by the competition.  Sometimes it's best to just "scale" down your personal expectations a bit to make sure you get your "catch" across the "fin"ish "line" while helping out your "net" income in the process.  After all, if you let too many big ones get away, you're the one getting "canned."


How did you find that "reel" world advice?    A bit too "fishy."    Are you "tuna"d in or "tuna"d out at this point?


Seeing no way to "worm" myself out of this corner; I guess I'll just have to cut "bait."


Not before wishing you all nothing but happy "scales"  at the end of the quarter.  Hope you were able to reel in the big one.


"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."   
                                                       -   Steven Wright

Sales Joke of the Day (February 25) Commitment.

A young salesman was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes. 


"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."


Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to be successful at sales, they need to compel their prospects to make a firm commitment.  If the prospect delays, chances are they are being pursued by at least one if not several of your competitors.   Always find out exactly who your rivals are, and then carefully but systematically "coach" your prospects through a thorough examination of each of their remaining options.    During these comparative discussions, always remain calm.  Never become bitter or terse.


"A relationship requires a lot of work and commitment."     -  Greta Scacchi