Sales Joke of the Day (May 11) The Bar.

The nearest bar patron was five stools away, but that didn't keep Josh, a salesman, from leaning over toward the bartender and commenting, "Wow!  That's a lousy smell you got going on in here."   A few minutes later he added, "It smells just like, like some sort of dung!"   Puzzled by the origin of the stench he moved closer to the other customer, and sure enough, the smell worsened.  "Phew, you really stink," the salesman pointed out.


"I know, "  said the second bar patron apologetically.  "It's because of my job."  Seeing that Josh the salesman was interested in a further explanation, he went on.  "I'm with an elephant act, and before each show I have to give the elephants enemas so they don't have to take a dump during the performance.  Frankly, it's a tricky business, because I have to administer it quickly and then jump back.  And sometimes I just can't move fast enough."


"Yikes!" commiserated Josh, shaking his head.  "How much do they pay you for this lousy job?  Peanuts?" 


"Five-hundred dollars a week," said the man cheerfully.


"You've got to be kidding.  That's it?  Why don't you just quit?" asked Josh.


"What?" retorted the man, "and get out of show business?"


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that to be truly successful at work, you have to love what you do.  Success is never about the money.   So the next time you start thinking, "Woe is me, I have a sheety job."  I want you to stop for a moment and remember the "elephant man."   And know this.   Things could always be worse!

"Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life."   

-  Confucius

Sales Joke of the Day (May 10) Gas.

A salesman goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much because they never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve f-arted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office.”


The doctor says, “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."


The next week the salesman goes back to his office. “Doctor,” he says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my f-arts, although still silent, stink terribly!”


The doctor says, “Good, Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”


Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that self-awareness is key to their sales success.   Truly understanding how others perceive you and your actions can give you a competitive edge.   Most sales people do not have that ability to take a step back and objectively assess their performance in a given sales cycle.   If you do, use it.   Like a heat-seeking missile that self-corrects it's flight path you need to do the same with each sales opportunity before your prospect, or one of your co-workers, has to tell you that your performance stinks.


"Mental fight means thinking against the current, not with it.  It is our business to puncture gas bags and to discover the seeds of truth."      -  Virginia Woolf