Friday, August 17, 2012

Sales Joke of the Day (August 17) The Ostrich

A salesman walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits down the bartender asks for their order.

The salesman says, "I'll have a beer," and turns to the ostrich.  "What would you like?"

"I'll have a beer too," says the ostrich.

The bartender pours the beer and says, "That will be $3.40 cents please," and the salesman reaches into his pocket and pays for both drinks with the exact change.

The next day, the salesman and the ostrich come into the bar again.  The salesman says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same."  Once again the salesman reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change.

This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.  "The usual?" asked the bartender.  "Well it's close to last call, so I'll have a large scotch," says the salesman.  "Same for me," chimes in the ostrich.  "That will be $7.53 cents," says the bartender.  Once again the salesman reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and places it on the bar.

The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer.  "Excuse me, sir.  How do you always manage to come up with exactly the right change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well, says the salesman, "Several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old oil lamp.  When I rubbed it a genie appeared and offered me two wishes.  My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" replied the bartender.  "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you will always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right.  Exactly my intention.  Whether it is a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," said the salesman.

"You're a genius!" said the bartender.  "One other thing.  I just have to ask.  What's the deal with the ostrich?"

"Oh that," replied the salesman.  "My second wish was for a chick with long legs that would follow me everywhere and always want what I want."

Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know that no matter how much digging around in your pocket you do, you'll never find enough money to meet your needs.  To be truly successful, you have to stay focused on the right things and doing the right things, consistently, day in, day out.   There are no genies, or short cuts, or talking ostriches to help you pay your  bills.   It's your use of your time and your talent, not mere wishes, that determine your success in life.  Choose wisely.

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives."      -      Henry David Thoreau