The old man was astounded by the luxury of his new surroundings. On the first day, as he was sitting in front of the television, he started to list to his right side. Instantly, a nurse ran over and tactfully straightened him out. Over lunch he started to lean a bit to the left, but within a few seconds a nurse was there and gently pushed him upright again.
That night his son, the salesman, called. "How are you doing, Pop?" he asked eagerly.
"Oh Sam, it's a wonderful place," said the father. "I've got my own color TV, the food is cooked by a French chef, the gardens look like Versailles, you wouldn't believe."
"I'm glad Pop. It sounds perfect," replied the son.
"There's one problem with this place though, Sammy," the father whispered. "They won't let you fart."
Moral of the story. If you're in a Friday afternoon business meeting, and one of your colleagues is shifting from side to side, don't worry. They are not passing out or having a bad reaction to street pharmaceuticals. They probably just had the bean soup special for lunch. Politely just reach down into your brief case, or notebook bag, grab the hospital mask you've saved for just such occasions and put it on with pride.
"Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose you nursing home."
- Steven Wright
