Friday, October 04, 2013

Sales Joke of the Day (October 4) The Prescription.

"Doc you gotta help me!" exclaimed the salesman.  "My wife just isn't interested in 'relations' anymore.  Have you got a pill or something that I can give her?"

"Look, I can't prescribe...."

The salesman promptly cuts his doctor off after he hears the word can't and says, "Doc, we've been friends for years.  Have you ever seen me this upset?  I am desperate!  I can't think, I can't concentrate; my life is falling apart!  You've got to help me!"

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills.  "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this.  These are experimental pills.  The tests so far indicate that they are very powerful.  Don't give your wife more than ONE, understand?  JUST one."

"I don't know, doc; she's awfully cold...."

"One.  No more.  I'd suggest you slip it into her coffee.  Okay?"

"Okay, doc.  Thanks!"  replies the salesman.

After he expressed his deep gratitude to his doctor, the salesman departed for home, where his wife had dinner waiting.  When dinner was finished, the salesman's wife headed to the kitchen to fetch dessert.  In fumbling haste, the salesman pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee.  He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill.   And then he begins to worry.  The doctor did say they were powerful.  Then an inspiration strikes:  he drops one pill into his own coffee to balance things out.

When his wife returned with the shortcake, the couple enjoy the dessert with their coffee.  The salesman can hardly contain his anticipation as he carefully observes his wife for any physical changes.   Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish their coffee, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily and a strange smoky look enters her eyes.  In a deep, throaty, near whisper, and a tone of voice the salesman has never heard her use before, she says, "I ....  need.... a man!"

The salesman's eyes glitter, his hands tremble as he replies,  "Me.... too."

Moral of the story.    True sales professionals know that in order to succeed at sales they need to be in constant contact with their customers and prospects.   However, this communication must be done in moderation.  Too much of anything, like any overdose, can be a bad thing, and can have serious unintended consequences on your revenue numbers.  Remember, we all know there is no prescription available to make your customers buy from you.   So you always need to closely observe how they physically react to what you have to say.  If you observe any negative reactions, adjust your message accordingly, and your chances of success will increase.  

"Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself."     -    Mark Twain