After working in sales for over twenty years, the salesman decided to take early retirement and escape from the stresses of modern day life by buying fifty acres of land in a desolate area of Vermont. His home was totally isolated and, for the first six months, the only people he saw were the mailman and the guy who delivered his groceries. Then one evening, he was surprised by a knock at the door. Standing there was this big Vermontan.
"I'm Caleb, your neighbor from four miles over the ridge. I'm
having a party Saturday night and I thought you might like to come."
"That sounds good, I'd like to meet some local folks," replied the salesman.
"Oh, but I gotta warn you - there's gonna be some heavy 'drinkin.' "
"Don't worry about that, I am retired salesman, I'd have to drink with clients every day!" replied the salesman.
"Oh, and there's going to be plenty of bacon too!"
"No worries, I am retired salesman. Pigs in a blanket, with bacon,
were mandatory at every trade show. I live to eat bacon," replied the
"Oh, and there's going to be fighting."
"That's no problem, I am retired salesman. I can talk my way out of anything."
"Oh, there's probably going to be some naked goings on towards the end when things get outta hand."
"Great!", replied the salesman, "after six months of isolation, I'm up for anything!"
"Right, see you Saturday night then," said Caleb.
"One thing before you go," interjected the salesman. "Is there any theme to this party? What should I wear?"
"Wear whatever you want," answered Caleb. "It's just going to be the two of us."
Moral of the story. True sales professionals know that in order to
be successful in sales you need to be sociable. You need to be seen
at local social functions and parties so you can get a chance to know
people. Remember however, to watch your bacon intake. Since it's
the prized food commodity at any event, folks will be watching you
closely to see if you make a pig of yourself. Beware of those
individuals who keep trying to offer you too much bacon. They no doubt
have ulterior motives and are really just trying to grease your palm
now so they can get something from you later. Last, pay special
attention to your selection of the bacon you eat at these events. Go
for the leanest slices possible. At parties or social events you need
to be chewing the fat with other guests rather then gnawing away at a
poorly selected slice of barely cooked bacon all night. Your goal is to
sizzle, and no gristle.
"We have found that morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by
hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey,
to be preserved in cells." - William Taylor