Saturday, September 14, 2013

Sales Joke of the Day (September 14) A Long Life.

A salesman goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live a very long life.  What should I do?"

"I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies.  "Let's see, do you smoke?"

"Oh...about a half a pick a day," replied the salesman.

"Well, starting now, no more smoking."

The salesman agrees.  The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"

"Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while."

"Starting now, you drink only water.  No exceptions!" exclaimed the doctor.

The salesman is starting to get a little upset, but reluctantly agrees.  The doctor then asks, "What do you eat?"

"Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff."

"Starting now you are going on a very strict diet.  You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese."

The salesman is now really worried.  "Doc, is all this really necessary?"

"Do you want to live a long life?"

"Yes," replies the salesman.

"Well then, it's absolutely necessary.  And don't even think of breaking the diet."  The salesman is getting quite restless, but the doctor continues.   "Do you have s-e-x regularly?"

"Yeah," replies the salesman nervously.  "About once a week or so, only with my wife!" he adds hurriedly.

"As soon as you get out of here, you are going to buy twin beds.  No more sex for you.  None."

The salesman is appalled.  "Doc, are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?"

"I have no idea," replied the doctor.   "But however long you live, I assure you it's going to seem like an eternity."

Moral of the story.   True sales professionals know that in order to succeed in sales they need to be able to perform at their peak, which means living a healthy lifestyle.   True sales professionals also know that you can't stay tightly wound all the time and still perform optimally over the long haul.   Everyone needs some time to unwind.   And that's what weekends are for!   So enjoy the weekend folks!  Unwind a lot!   And remember, Monday is less than 48 hours away!  

"Monotony collapses time; novelty unfolds it.  You can exercise daily and eat healthily and live a long life, while experiencing a short one.  If you spend your life sitting in a cubicle, and passing papers, one day is bound to blend unmemorably into the next -  and disappear."                                             -    Joshua Foer