Monday, May 12, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (May 12) What Hi-Tech Salespeople Say And What They Mean By It

The Dictionary:  What Hi-Tech Salespeople Say And What They Mean By It

New: Different color from previous design.
All new: Parts not interchangeable with previous design.
Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition.
Designed simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.
Foolproof operation: No provision for adjustments.
Advanced design: The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
Field-tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
High accuracy: Unit on which all parts fit.
Direct sales only:  Factory had big argument with distributor.
Years of development: We finally got one that works.
Revolutionary: It's different from our competitors.
Breakthrough: We finally figured out a way to sell it.
Improved: Didn't work the first time.
Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does.
Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others.
Re-designed: Previous faults corrected, we hope.
Hand-crafted: Assembly machines operated without gloves on.
Performance proven: Will operate through the warranty period.
Meets all standards: Ours, not yours.
Broadcast quality: Gives a picture and produces noise.
High reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it.
SMPTE bus compatible: When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound.
New generation: Old design failed, maybe this one will work.
MIL-SPEC components: We got a good deal at a government auction.
Customer service across the country: You can return it from most airports.
Unprecedented performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way.
Built to precision tolerances: We finally got it to fit together.
Microprocessor controlled: Does things we can't explain.
Latest aerospace technology: One of our techs was laid off by Boeing.

Moral of the Story:   When dealing with prospects try to keep industry jargon and acronyms to a minimum.  Speak to inform, answer or explain never to impress.  Remember the purpose of any prospective customer engagement is to discover more information about the customer, their situation, their wants and their needs; it's NOT to show how much you know.  Questions help you accomplish this objective.  Jargon does not.  If your prospective customer needs a dictionary to understand you, they will probably be buying from someone else.

"Our business is infested with idiots who try to impress by using pretentious jargon."
- David Ogilvy