Thursday, May 08, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (May 8) The Institution.

A salesman who had been in a mental institution for some years, finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released.  The psychiatrist who headed the institution, with commendable caution, decided, however, to interview the salesman one last time.

"Tell me," said the psychiatrist, "if we release you, as we are considering doing, what would you intend to do with your life?"

The salesman replied, "It would be wonderful to get back to real life and, if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake.  I was in nuclear arms sales, you know, and it was the stress at the end of the quarter, and all those countries, and organizations that wanted to buy but that I couldn't sell to, that helped to put me here.  If I am released, I shall confine myself to work in conventional arms sales only, where I trust the situation will be less difficult and stressful."

"Marvelous," said the psychiatrist.

"Or else," ruminated the salesperson, "I might teach.  There is something to be said for spending one's life in developing a new generation of salespeople."

"Absolutely," said the psychiatrist.

"Then again, I might write.  There is considerable need for books on sales for the general public.  Or I might even write a novel based on my experiences here in this fine institution," said the salesman.

"An interesting possibility," replied the psychiatrist.

"And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to be a teapot!"

"Nurse!" exclaimed the psychiatrist.

Moral of the story.    True sales professionals know that the institution of sales can be stressful indeed.  Especially if you are behind quota year to date, and things appear to be slowing down instead of picking up.  With all this stress you need to be able to just let off a little steam every once in a while.  Or you too could turn into a teapot!

That being said, if you are feeling stressed, I want you to push your office chair back for just a moment, and sing along with the anthem dedicated to those formerly in sales, who have fallen by the wayside, because of all the pressure!   Make sure to also follow along with the choreography (in brackets below).   Loosening up your joints through exercise is another way to relieve stress and stay in shape at the same time.   

For those of you who can't quite remember the tune....   a video url has been attached at the end of the post for your convenience.     So now there is no excuse folks!   Let loose for a bit, and be a little teapot!   I challenge you to let off a little steam!   If you're really feeling bold today, make a YouTube video of your entire team letting off some steam, and post it to this thread.   Who knows, your video could go viral.   Your video or perhaps even your whole team could end up on David Letterman.  And, as a result of your new found celebrity, your sales could go through the roof!

So what are you waiting for?       Your sales career could depend on you letting off a little steam right now!

I'm a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle
(one hand on hip), here is my spout (other arm out straight)
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout
Just tip me over and pour me out
(As song ends, lean over and tip arm out like a spout.)

I'm a clever teapot, yes it's true
Here's an example of what I can do
I can change my handle to my spout
(Switch arm positions and repeat tipping motion.)
Just tip me over and pour me out.

"The internet, like the steam engine, is a technological breakthrough that changed the world."                                 -  Peter Singer