Friday, May 16, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (May 16) Heaven Can Wait.

An 85 year old retired salesman and his wife, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash while he was texting.  They had been in great health the last ten years of their lives, mainly due to the salesman's wife interest in health, food, and exercise.   When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, a master bath suite and Jacuzzi.

As the couple "oohed and aahed" the retired salesman asked how much all this was going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is heaven."

Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that their home backed up to.  They would have golfing privileges every day and each week the course changed to a new one representing the greatest golf courses on earth.  The retired salesman asked, "What are the green fees?" 

Peter replied, "This is heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out before them.  The retired salesman was salivating at all the meats and varieties of bacon that were removed from his diet years before.  "How much to eat?" asked the salesman.

"Don't you understand yet?  This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.

"Well, where are all the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old salesman asked timidly.

Peter lectured, "That's the best part....   You can eat as much as you like and never get fat and never get sick.  This is heaven!"

With that the old retired salesman went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly.  Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking what was wrong.

The old retired salesman looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault.  If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here twenty years ago!"

Moral of the story.    True sales professionals know that physical health, a good diet and plenty of exercise are all keys to staying wealthy and wise.   Just remember to have some fun along the way too.   What's the point of reaching 80 if all you've got left are regrets?

"The true object of all human life is play.  Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground."   -  Gilbert K. Chesterton