Monday, May 26, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (May 26) The Big Problem.

The salesman knew he was probably oversensitive about his problem.  But, the fact was his eyes bulged.  He went to doctor after doctor, but none seemed to know of any treatment.  In desperation he looked up "Eye bulging" on his smartphone.  Sure enough a doctor was listed, and a few days later the salesman found himself sitting on a vinyl couch in a seedy waiting room.   A little nervous about being the only patient, he reminded himself how rare his condition was and that the doctor was a specialist. 

At long last the salesman was admitted to the doctor's office and was examined.  The doctor leaned back, sighed, and informed him that there was a remedy to his condition, but it was not an easy one.  "I must remove your testicles," he said.

The salesman's eyes bulged even more as he headed for the door.  But after a few weeks of thinking it over, the salesman acknowledged that his bulging eyes were becoming very uncomfortable and harming his chances of being promoted at work, so he decided to go ahead with the operation.  When he returned from the operating room, sure enough, his eyeballs had sunk back into their sockets most agreeably.  In fact, the salesman looked not only normal but actually rather handsome.  

Delighted, the salesman thanked the doctor profusely, and since he now felt could be promoted, he decided to treat himself to a new suit.

"Charcoal gray pinstripe," he instructed the tailor at a nearby men's clothing store.  "Medium lapel, no cuffs."

"Fine," said the tailor, nodding.  "Come back on Tuesday."  

"Aren't you going to measure me?" asked the salesman.

"Nah," said the tailor.   "I've been doing this for over thirty years; I can tell all of your sizes just by looking," the tailor further assured him.

"That's impossible!" blurted the salesman.

"Size forty-two jacket, right?" asked the tailor.

"Yes," replied the salesman.

"Thirty-two inch inseam, right?" asked the tailor.

The salesman nodded yes, dumbstruck.

Thirty-six inch waist?"

Again the salesman nodded yes.

"And last, you wear size forty underwear, right?" concluded the tailor with a smile.

"Nope, you're wrong!" the salesman exclaimed.  "Thirty-four."

"Listen, you can't fool me," said the tailor wearily.  "Don't even try to put that one over on me."

"I'm telling you I wear size thirty-four underwear," the salesman insisted.

"You can't be wearing size thirty-four underwear!" protested the exasperated tailor.   "Because if you were, your eyes would be bulging out of their sockets!"

Moral of the story.  True sales professionals know the importance of wearing only the best custom-tailored suits.  A good fitting fashionable suit can add that confidence to your stride and that extra bounce to your step that will send you rapidly up that corporate ladder at work.   By the way, if this joke got your shorts in a knot, please make certain you are wearing the correct size or your eyes may start to bulge.

"For me that's one of the great indulgences in life - a hand tailored suit, and a great pair of handmade shoes."  -  Hugh Jackman