Saturday, March 22, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (March 22) Chopping Wood.

Springtime came early to upstate New York this year, and two ambitious sales reps decided to get a head start on chopping some firewood for next winter.   So Sam and John headed out the bush and started cutting wood.  It had been a while since they had both wielded axes and within an hour John had cut his arm off.  Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon.


The surgeon told Sam, "You're in luck!  I'm an expert at reattaching limbs!  Come back in four hours."  So Sam left and when he came back in four hours, the surgeon said, "I got done faster than I expected.  John is down at the local pub."  Sam went to the pub, and there was John, throwing darts, with the very arm that had been detached just a few hours earlier.


A few weeks later, Sam and John were chopping wood again, and this time John cut his leg off.  Sam put the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the surgeon.  The surgeon said, "Legs are a little tougher.  Come back in six hours."   Sam left and when he returned in six hours the surgeon said.  "I finished early.  John's down at the local soccer field."  Sam went down to the soccer field just in time to see John kick the winning goal, with the very leg that had been detached just a few hours earlier.


A few weeks later, Sam and John were chopping wood again, and this time John cut his head off.  Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and the rest of John to the surgeon.   The surgeon said, "Gee, heads are really tough.  Come back in twelve hours."  So Sam left, and when he returned in twelve hours, the surgeon said, "I'm sorry John died."


Sam said, "I understand - heads are tough."


The surgeon quickly replied, "Oh, no!  the surgery went fine!  You suffocated John by putting his head in that plastic bag!"


Moral of the story.   Whether it's chopping wood, chopping someone down to size, or chopping down one's quota; professional salespeople know they need to keep their blades sharp and their aim true.   Cutting things up is no job for dullards.  Try chopping down the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong way, with poor aim and heads could roll!


"People love chopping wood.  In this activity one immediately sees results."  
                                                          -  Albert Einstein