Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (March 26) The Last Nickel.

A salesman walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy
3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the
boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back.

The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the
father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well-dressed, attractive and serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at the coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "

"No," the woman replied. "I'm with the IRS!"

Moral of the story.   True sales professionals realize that in order to be successful at sales, one needs to get paperwork out of the way as quickly as possible.  Like taxes for example.  Procrastinating doing your taxes will only subject you to additional fines and penalties, so why not just get them over with?   As for filing your taxes accurately, most sales professionals understand that when you take "THE" and "IRS" and put them together you get "THEIRS!"  So it's best just to give them their fair share right away.   That's the easy way.   The hard way?   Well, that involves what the Beatles used to call, "Twist and Shout!"

"The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets!"     -  Will Rogers