Thursday, March 06, 2014

Sales Joke of the Day (March 6) The VP of Sales.

The Vice President of Sales of a large corporation suffered a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for several weeks to a farm to relax. The VP of Sales went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.

The farmer told him to remove the dung from the cows' stalls. The farmer thought that  somebody coming from the city, working their whole life sitting in an office, would take over a week to finish the job.   But, to his surprise the VP of Sales finished the job in less than one day.

The next day the farmer gave to the VP of Sales a more difficult assignment.  He had to cut the heads off of 500 chickens. The farmer was sure that the VP of Sales would not be able to do the job, but by the end of the day, the job was done.

The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the VP of Sales to divide a bag of potatoes into two boxes: one box for small potatoes, and one box for the big potatoes.

At the end of the day the farmer saw that the VP of Sales was sitting in front of the potatoes bag, but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the VP of Sales: "How is that you completed such difficult jobs during the first two days, and now you cannot complete this simple task?"

The Vice President of Sales answered: "Listen, all my life I've cut heads and dealt with crap, but now you're asking me to make some real decisions."

Moral of the story.  True sales professionals realize that in order to be successful at sales and keep their jobs, they can't act like a chicken or stir up sheet.  Vice Presidents of Sales are experienced at dispatching both.   What you want to do is place a pile of potatoes at the entrance to your office or cubicle, with two boxes and a sign that reads, "Place small potatoes in one box and large potatoes in the other.   Whatever you do, don't leave a burlap bag laying around or you'll probably be sacked.

"The ultimate court of 'appeal' is observation and experiment....  not authority."  
                                                   -  Thomas Huxley